11.30.2005

:-p

Hump day... half way thru the week.

Last nights dinner was nice... except for the fact that I only at about 3 bites of food, due the the fact that I felt nauseous, due the the horrid migrane I was developing. By the time dinner was done, I had to battle not to throw up... as soon as we left I was laying down in the car, coat covering my eyes, doing some deep breathing. When we got home, it was right to bed.

At least today I am feeling very rested.
And have leftovers to look forward to.


PF Chang's is still a great restaurant.
And Raymond makes me happy about our decision to go with the Holiday Inn.

11.29.2005

third and final time i am making a new entry today...

I swear I am done after this, if only because I then have to leave to get my train. I just had to pass this on... it is a comment I definitely stole from Friday Playdate, because of a story she was telling about her son losing the tip of his toe (I jest not), and the use of the adult voice so as to not scare the children more.

When I was 12 or so, my sister (who was about 3) ran into a table that had her dinner on it (apparently she was so excited about eating whatever it was that she had to RACE towards it) and she started screaming. When I looked up, she had a fork in her forehead.

I totally remember the Adult Calm Voice; it's hilarious when the words uttered are "Oh! Susie has a fork in her forehead! I think we should probably go to the hospital. Would you please call Daddy?"

Okay, did that not make you laugh?! Don't tell me it didn't because you would be a liar!
Now, if you haven't already, feel free to see the other random post below, then the real post for the day below that.

when i have a baby, they are getting this

Just one a side note, I found this today and think it is the neatest thing.


Teach them young, so that they can grow up money aware. :-)

just one of those days.

So today is a boring day. Nothing bad, just boring. My co-worker Miyano (who normally sits at the front desk) is out today... so I unfortunately have to sit in her place. It's a lot harder for me to get work done up here... more distractions, including the being uprooted from my own desk one... plus having to use a different computer. I feel "off" because of it. Just a little distracted.
Anyway. Tonight, Trav and I are meeting at the Media train station and driving out to Springfield to go to PF Chang's with Raymond from the Holiday Inn in West Chester. We're going to get the rest of our questions answered and probably sign some paperwork (thankfully!). The best part is, the meal is on the hotel. :-) Yay. We've also started the photographer, dj, and officiant searches. And I'm already quite ready to be done with this wedding planning.
Oh well, I'm just ready for the weekend to come. Althought for every week we speed through, we are one week closer to Christmas... and while normally I start my shopping in October and am mostly done by now... this year I've hardly even started!! I have three gifts of about 20 that I need. So over lunch today I spent some time putting together a list of shopping I have to do. I'm sure it will get done somehow. A few lunchtime runs to the Shops at Liberty Place... some weekend excursions to the mall... and surely some online shopping... and hopefully it will all be done by the 20th at the latest. I feel like my gifts are a lot less creative and personal then normal. But this year I just feel so short on time, energy, and most of all, money. I will make due, and I will definitely give it my best, but hopefully no one will be disappointed.
Well, that's about all for me. I'm off to get some more work done. If anyone knows some talented, professional, and majorly inexpensive (yea, that is that hard part) photographers/djs/officiants in the Philadelphia area.... LET ME KNOW!!!

11.28.2005

pictures pictures pictures...

I finally got around to downloading my pictures... and all it took was a five day weekend. :-)
For your viewing pleasure:

Ethan's play:

(Ethan is in the center, in the tux)


For more pictures, go to my photo page and click on the "Ethan doing Drama" folder.

Lehigh/Lafayette:


For more pictures, go to my photo page and click on the "Misc. Family and Friend" folder, and scroll to the bottom.

Pro shots from Ro & Pat's wedding:

(this is my favorite shot... and their "official" wedding picture.)





For more pictures, go to Rochelle's blog and her picture page.

I hope you enjoyed them. Lol, heaven knows they took long enough to get here.
So this weekend Travis and I officially started our search for the photographer, officiant, and DJ for our wedding. I'm already going insane. Oh well... only 10 months, 2 weeks, and a day to go! Okay, I have so much work to get done today! Ciao!!

11.24.2005

i am thankful...

I might complain sometimes, but I have so much to be thankful for. Today was a great day. We got up to my parents a little after noon... and just relaxed, helped cooked, etc until some family friends showed up at 4ish. We at so much good food (turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, cornbread muffins, chestnut stuffing, corn, cranberry sauce, brussel sprout cassarole, brownies, and pie)... and talked, drank wine, laughed, listened to music, etc. It was wonderful. Obviously our plans changed a little at the last minute (if you remember, we were originally going to my Uncles in DC), but things turned out wonderfully.

This Thanksgiving, I give thanks to God for all that he has provided:
1. My engagement to Travis... actually Travis (period). He is so much to me, and I am thankful everyday that we found each other, and that we will get to spend our lives together.
2. My incredible family, and the strength we pull from each other. My parents... Brother... Grandmum and Pop... wonderful Uncles (and Aunts!)... etc.
3. Better friends then I feel I could have ever hoped for... friends that are always there when I need them... including my best friend for 19 years now - Heather.
4. A house to call my own.
5. That we finally found a reception site!!!

I hope that you have your own list of things to be thankful for, and I hope at this time of year you take the time to think of them... and really be happy for them. There are a lot of people out there that don't have the things to be thankful for that we do... but you can bet that they are counting what blessings they do have.

Happy Thanksgiving all.

11.22.2005

you all know that my hobag is all that is hotness...

Well, its tuesday morning... which this week is my friday. I took tomorrow off and work is closed thursday and friday, so I have a 5 day weekend to look forward to as soon as I get thru today. And I have plenty to keep me busy today.

Yesterday evening I took the train out to Exton, as Travis and I had an appointment in West Chester at the Holiday Inn, where it looks like we have finally decide to have our wedding. It's not my dream place, but its nice, and the rooms are nice, and they are really working with us on the pricing. However, if we weren't so set on it, we probably would have told them to "go f*ck themselves" yesterday, since we showed up for our meeting (which had already been rescheduled), and there was no person there to meet us. R, whom is our contact there and we were supposed to meet first on thursday, then yesterday at 6:15, didn't show. He hasn't emailed, hasn't called, nothing. We were/are not happy, to say the least. I figure, if I don't get an email by the time the day is done, he's going to get an angry one from me.

But at least, in the end the night was not a complete disappointment. We used the opportunity to stop at a sushi restarant on the way home and eat a nice relaxing dinner. Trav treated me because he's just that much of a sweetie. Then we headed home, watched a little football, and off to bed.

I'm very excited for tonight... well, basically everything after work today. Tonight we are meeting Mike and Megan to finally see the new Harry Potter movie. I can not wait! I'm definitely a bit HP obsessed. I just think they are such great books, they really suck you into the story... you constantly are looking forward to what happens next, and the wait between books is excruciating! The movies are so well done too.

Tomorrow we will get to sleep in a bit, then a visit from the RotorRooter guy to hopefully clear up our little leak problem, then just relaxing and preparing for Thanksgiving at my parents (packing, picking up some yummy wine, getting all the stuff out of my car, gasing up, etc). Thursday morning we head up...
And then there will be the eating! Oh, I love the eating! Turkey, mashed potatoes and homemade gravy, cranberry sauce, crescent rolls, beans, pie, etc. etc. etc.! Everything is always so good, and we all eat so much. It will be hard, as it will be the first trip to my parents since Kelly died, but it will be so good to spent the family time together, and see some longtime family friends that will be joining us.

Friday at some point we will be heading back home (unless we decide to stay a second night, but probably not)... then, after all that, we still have the weekend left!! I'm not sure yet what we will be doing for the weekend, but I'm sure we'll figure something out.

So, as you can probably tell, I still don't have pictures to show you. I'm so lazy about doing it. But, it will give you something to look forward to... as I probably won't be blogging for the next few days.


So until next time, Happy Thanksgiving!!!


ps. Much love to Tamara... I love my site more and more everyday (even if you brats have not said a damn word either way)!! Thanks chickie!!

the arc in Paris

Just for your viewing pleasure... because it is so pretty!!!

11.21.2005

just for shits and giggles...

So this weekend was definitely interesting... good, but I'm exhausted from it and ultimately glad that it is over. I had an awesome time seeing everyone... especially my hobags Lauren and Hannah, whom I haven't seen in forever (or at least that is what it felt like). Good stuff. Lehigh lost, which is bad stuff. Lauren's ass however, is great stuff... and I have a picture (I'm not sure who took it, but I stole it far and square).


Oh yes. It was that kind of weekend.

Now, I have yet to download any of my pictures from this weekend... but here's something else to keep you entertained.

You're Ash, baby.
Gimme some sugar baby.


Which B-Movie Badass Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

11.18.2005

TFGIFF...F!!! (if you can't figure it out, all i did was add my favorite four letter word a few times)

Today is a big day in the blogger world...
First, everyone must head over to Poop and Boogies, to learn Bill and Lauren's secret, and congratulate them accordingly. Very exciting news.
Oh, and do me a favor and figure it out yourself... don't cheat and just read the comments.

Secondly, if you all have been searching for that perfect Christmas present for me, and just can't figure it out (wedding stuff always accepted)... dooce dot com is once again here to save the day. This, my friends, is all i want for Christmas.

Thirdly, just for shits and giggles... head to the Chattababy site to check out their rocking new masthead. Fun for the whole family. Everyone needs a cause to unite for.


Today is great. Not only is it friday, but it is the friday of Lehigh/Lafayette. For those of you who did not attend either Lehigh or Lafayette... this is a BIG week. Saturday is the biggest game of the year for us, not because of standing or playoffs or any of that, but because this is our biggest rivalry... and the most played rivalry in college football. We are nationally known for our rivalry. It is actually an entry requirement at both schools that you hate the other (okay, i exaggerate... but close enough). Because of all this, it has become a week long celebration of drunken debauchery. Due to my graduation, it has been, for me (and most alumni), reduced to a weekend long celebration of semi-drunken not so much debauchery... but it is still big (HUGE), and it is still great. So many alumni come back to visit (i'm talking alumni from the 50s, that are still coming back almost yearly), its almost like a reunion weekend. I'm very excited... and I'm sure I'll have some great pictures to show upon my return.

Here are two from about two years ago, to get you in the mood:

Johnson and I finding a new and inspired way to play beirut. The disadvantages far outweighed the advantages. And laughing about it afterwards.

On that note, its time to get this day going, so that I can get on with the weekend!
Ciao!

11.17.2005

blue day... god i love it

Do you see? Do you? Do you?

If not, refresh... and refresh again!!

It's exciting. And new. And a good change.
Everyone needs one of those somethimes. :-)

Tamara is a goddess... visit her at www.cybervassals.com and tell her how great she is! Yayayay!


Days like this are wonderful. Sure it is a Thursday, but I got to come in late. Like 11:45 late. Sure I didn't leave work until 8:30 yesterday, and because my train was an hour late I didn't get home until 10. But that doesn't matter because today I slept in!! And watched Nash Bridges!! (I should not brag about that should i?) And I got to come in late!! And be surprised by my page redesign being done!! I love this...
Today I will not think about depressing things because it is a good day.

Smile!
Later addition:
I have decided to take part in

45113638_202b79dc11


Why? Why not?!

Honestly, I found two old pictures, one of myself and one of Trav, which I would have no reason to show other then that we are half naked (no, you don't get to see anything naughty, except for two of my five kickin tattoos). We do however, happen to be horribly sunburned.

You think that is bad... look at his.


Honestly, we both wore sunscreen... but it was just a lot longer of a day at the beach then we had anticipated (and he is Irish, with Irish - aka pasty - skin).

Okay, your turn!

11.16.2005

this is so not November.

Has anyone else noticed that it is November 16th and it is in fact 69 degrees out?! I just don't get it, I really don't. Although I do appreciate the mood lifter that it provides.

Monday Kelly was buried... this is what my dad wrote me about it:
it was as good a day as we could have wished for under the circumstances. digging in our soil is very hard work and ethan & i did it side by side. we talked throughout the work & during the couple breaks we took. we cried some & laughed some....all in all a very good way to take those 1st little steps forward. just wish you & mom could have been there with us through the day.

mom came home from work a little early so we could bury kelly before dark. i uncovered kelly's face so mom could say a last goodbye....she looked as beautiful as ever & just like she was asleep. i had done this for ethan earlier...when we were finished digging & before i laid her down. i covered kelly back up & as we stood around her grave we each tossed in one of the mums i had cut. then i read aloud (as best i could while crying) that poem i included in the e-mail the other day... afterwards dropping it in with her. mom shared a few thoughts & recollections that came to her during the day and then as we were about to start covering her up ethan asked us to wait and ran off to the house. he came back a minute later with one last snausage treat & with a smile dropped it in for our sweet pup. then we all worked together to cover her. again we all wished you could have been here in body... but we all (including kelly) knew you were here in spirit. at least you & travis had some good time with her almost to the end... that was a blessing!

it really was a good time....a good start to closure....but just a start. we're all still going to have good times and sad times....but as time passes....slowly but surely the good memories and feelings will outnumber the sad ones.


Okay, I won't bore/depress anyone with more details of Kelly. I don't really want to talk about it anymore anyway. When I do feel like crying about it (which I do everytime I read the above), I have wonderful Travis - who listens and hugs me. He is great.


So today is a pretty normal day... besides the weather, and I have to stay late. There is a study group in the library (of our office), held by one of our scholars this evening. I have to stay to make sure everything runs smoothly, and to lock up the office when all is said and done... which probably won't be until around 8ish. Long day, but atleast I'll pretty much be able to do what I want to kill time after 5. I'll probably sit in on the meeting from its start at 4 until about 5ish, then after Miyano leaves, sit at her desk in the front and wait for the dinner to arrive. I'll eat, and then just kill time until it is over. At least there is a good dinner... ceasar salad, salmon, the best garlic bread EVER, and mini deserts. Yum.

Tomorrow Trav & I meet with a reception place for the second time, and will hopefully sign all the paperwork to officially book it. That will be a relief, we are behind on this stuff. Then Friday it is up to Lehigh for Lehigh/Lafayette weekend!!! Very exciting. It will be awesome to see everyone. This is one of the biggest weekends of the year for Lehigh, so alumni poor in en masse. Plus, it will be exciting to see all the newly engaged people and newlyweds too.

Also, hopefully by this weekend you will have a surprise when you come to visit me... I won't say more, but I'm excited for the change.

11.14.2005

a very trying weekend

This weekend was both wonderful and horrible. It started off good. On Friday, Travis' grandfather happily agreed to be his best man. We had a relaxing night then, and Saturday headed up to my parents after lunch. That evening was the final performance of my brother's high school play, The Importance of Being Ernest, which is a very amusing farce by Oscar Wilde. It is the first high school play that my brother has done while in high school (he's a freshman), and he did a wonderful job. He was the only freshman in it... in fact, I believe everyone else was a senior. It was a lot of fun to watch, and I got some pictures of the play itself, and some good ones afterwards which I hope to post soon.
Also great was that Heather, my best friend for almost 20years (next year is our 20th "anniversary"), surprised my family and I by showing up to support my bro! It was a great surprise and we were all thrilled.
After the play was over, we dropped Ethan off at the cast party, then headed home. That's when the weekend went downhill fast.

About five weeks ago our family dog, Kelly, was diagnosed with cancer... the doctor gave her less then six weeks. They put her on steroids, which worked wonders! She had her appetite back, and was almost her old self again. She was having no pain, and could enjoy her last few weeks. Well Saturday night that changed very abruptly. Her body had reached its end point and she became very weak and unsteady. She had trouble walking, and she could hardly support herself. Sunday morning rolled around, and we knew that the end was near. My dad started calling around to see if he could find a doctor to put her to sleep. That had been the decision all along... we did not want her to suffer. As long as the meds were keeping her pain-free, then we wanted her to enjoy life as long as she could. But once we knew it wasn't working anymore, we wanted to let her go as painlessly as possible. Clearly, she was ready to go. When Travis and I left around lunch, my dad still hadn't found anyone. But eventually he did, and the doctor agreed to come to Kelly, instead of making Kelly leave her home. She apparently was a wonderful lady that truly cares about animals, and knows the pain involved in letting one go. But we are so happy that Kelly could go surrounded by family. I'm so sad that I couldn't be there, but at least I got to say goodbye... and at least she had family all around her.

To the very end she was a wonderful dog. Loving, and a real fighter (she didn't want to let go). She was so loyal, and caring...
I can't write anymore, but this is just one of the most heartbreaking things to go thru.

I miss you Kelly, I love you. I will never ever forget you.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die...

-Anonymous

11.11.2005

have your had your dose of dooce today?


If not, you should.... then you would know why this is so funny.
:-)
Happy Friday everyone!!

11.10.2005

Missing this already


missing this already... Posted by Picasa

my life as a productive person

Today I will:
empty my overwhelmed email Inbox
empty my overwhelmed physical Inbox
make it so that tomorrow I'm not going crazy trying to get things done for the week, when I need to be at an event for a majority of the day (right smack dab in the middle of it too...)

Didn't get the best start considering I spent about 20 minutes picking stray hairs off my sweater... a job which started because I thought there was no way that it could take me more then 30 seconds to 1 minute, but left me patting my head in a discontented fashion, convinced that I was in fact going bald AT THIS VERY SECOND (don't worry i'm not).
I believe I have previously mentioned my love of run on sentances?

But this will work out because I am feeling energetic, and 200x more composed then yesterday. Today it will actually be physically possible for me to get things done.

So that is what I'm going to do!!

Musicians in Iching... they played for us.


Musicians in Iching... they played for us.  Posted by Picasa

And oldie, from China: The Bund...


And oldie, from China: The Bund...  Posted by Picasa

11.09.2005

hump day... struggling up...

It's definitely a Wednesday deserving of its nicname... this is one Hump of a Day to get thru. I'm tired, and so distracted. Can't even really figure out why I'm so out of it today. I slept fine last night... normal, nothing obscene like a few nights ago. But I'm just in another world, can't focus, near impossible to get work done at an adequite pace. I will definitely be taking a walk post lunch to try and clear my head, and then refocus. Sometimes all you need is a way to step out of it for a few minutes so that you can start fresh.

Tonight should be a quiet night. We were supposed to have dinner guests, but something came up so they had to postpone.

So twice now we have found water in our basement. We were worried it was from a broken pipe and that it was from when we showered. Experimented last night, but turns out to not be so. Hopefully it was a fluke or a neighbors problem and will not reoccur.

Looking forward to 3 days off for Thanksgiving... 2 days the office is closed, and I took off another so we could get down to DC a bit earlier. Excited both to see my Uncle, and for the vacation time. 2 more weeks.

Okay, eats time. Wish me luck to make it thru today!

11.08.2005

for your viewing pleasure...

In no particular order, and without further ado... (all pictures mine unless otherwise noted)

One of the reasons I love October so damned much!

My sickly puppy and I (Travis took).

Beautiful Philadelphia, on my walk toward 30th St Station.

Amazing sky.

I think this is one of my favorite...

30th St Station & the new Comcast tower (?) at dusk.

A misty morning.

I've also gone back and added photos to a few posts... as found here, here, here, here, here, and here (you might have to scroll down a little in each one, but they are there). Enjoy. :-) And as always, these and other fine pictures can be found at my picture page, which got some overhaul last night, link on the right.

11.07.2005

falling behind

I just had to start you off with something really cute, and I thought this picture more then fit the bill. Say it with me now... awwwwww. :-) Huskies are one of my favorite types of dogs too. They are just so beautiful and frisky and fun. Love that.

So I've definitely been falling behind on some key things lately. The first is photos. My camera is full of them right now, and hopefully tonight I will remember to hook it up to the computer and download them all since I want all the photos I can get for this weekend. We are going to my parent's house on Saturday, and seeing my brother in his high school play debut! Go Ethan!! So hopefully as soon as tomorrow I will have tons more pictures to post.

I am also behind on sleep right now. Last night my insomnia came out in force, and I lay there from bed time at 10p.m. until maybe 2:30ish, too exhausted to get up and do anything, but without sleep anywhere in sight. Finally something clicked around 2:30, and I was finally asleep by 3a.m. - about 5 hours after laying down. I'm a little tired now to say the least. Of all the crappy things I inherited from my family (fibrocystic breasts... for which I've already had two surgeries & my large behind from my mom, depression/self esteem issues from my dad to name a few), I think insommia (from my dad) is the one I hate the worst. It's frustrating beyond words, and I feel like there isn't much I can do for it. Besides just being tired, it messes with my body in so many other ways. Today I have the weirdest pain in the side of my head, behind my ear. There won't be anything then I will have a shooting pain there that catches me so off guard that I flinch.

Anyway, to change the subject... I'm already looking forward to Trav & my first Christmas together in our own place. I ordered us stockings, Eagles for me and Steelers for him. They are very cute. When Ro saw them she just had to order a pair for her and Pat, so I hooked her up with those, and you can see them here. We don't have ours hanging yet (still a little early for me), but I'm sure once December hits the Christmas stuff will start coming out.

Maybe I should have hung at least my stocking though, considering how the Eagles did last night. I had such high hopes that they would pull it off. McNabb was looking pretty good there, like he was finally remembering how to run when he needed too, and evading all those sacks! You couldn't even tell the guy was playing injured, but I guess it just wasn't enough. I still love my team, I'm a lifer... but I'm definitely disappointed in them lately.

Well, anyway... we had a great weekend. Friday Ro & Pat were over... we ate so much food and drank so much wine/beer (Ro & I had about a bottle and a half, per person), and watched a bunch of Star Wars. Lol. Let me tell you just how much more fun everything is with wine. ;-) We all went to bed at different times, but we up pretty early the next morning. Ro & Pat headed home after some breakfast, to hit the gym and take care of some business. We rejoined them around 3, and headed up to the Kutztown area to go to Premise Maid, for some of the best homemade ice cream around. Even know we were only about 15-20 minutes from my parents house, I hadn't been there in years (I honestly can't remember the last time). But Trav and I might grab some ice cream from there this coming weekend to surprise my bro.

After that we hit up an italian restaurant for some dinner before heading home.
Sunday was a day of relaxing. Trav and I got up and took a walk a bit less then a mile down the street to the Wachovia to hit up the ATM, and enjoy the warm weather. Then we ate some lunch, relaxed, and loafed around. Ro & Pat stopped by after church to pick up their stockings (which had been forgotten on Saturday), and hung out for a few minutes. Then they were off again, and Trav & I settled in to watch some football. After a bit we wanted to get outside again, so we went for another walk. This time with no destination in mind, just enjoying the sun, the breeze, and being with each other. It was a great time.
Well, that's all for now. Maybe some wedding news coming up this week, and hopefully the previously mentioned blogger surprise!

Dear Bush...

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

11.05.2005

Travis: you’ve been known to do stupider things

Meg: you’re stupider

Travis: yea, I’m one of those things.


We also spent about a half hour with Pat & Rochelle talking about how Travis will occationally, accidentally sit on his balls. Who does that? Really?

11.04.2005

i am megan's sense of longing.

Sometimes I find myself longing for places from my childhood. A coworker recently took a weekend trip to visit Hawk Mountain (a location near my family home), and when she told me about it I just had the most intense longing to be there. I don't know if it is the place, or if it is the place as it is secured in my early memories of it... you know, viewed though the eyes of youth, where everything is just a little more perfect then it really is.
I think its the sense of ease that accompanies these locations in my mind. Just thinking of a really good day you had "once upon a time" can make you feel very relaxed, nostgalic in that really nicce way, satisfied. Why wouldn't you want that all the time? Its easy to forget the trials of childhood, that felt so very real then. They were real then. I was very depressed during high school. I cried a lot, I had very bleak thoughts, I did some bad things to myself. I never did drugs, smoked, had sex, and hardly drank. But I things to myself that were just as bad. I'm certainly not longing for that again. But when you get caught up in a place... well its easy to forget all the rest and just remember one really good time there. Or an overall feeling created by a bunch of really good times... and want to be there again.
Sometimes its easier to want to be there then to want to stay here. The longing can be intense.
But those are all just memories, and its better to remember that then to get caught up in them.

Sometimes when I lay in bed at night, unable to sleep, unable to slow my mind down I think about the past... or I play my game that I've played since I was a little girl, "building" the future. I don't know why I do it, other then the fact that at 1 in the morning, when you've already been laying in bed for 3 hours, there isn't much you can do to control where your mind goes. The thing is, building the future is even less reliable then that longing for the past. I know that I'm not where I thought I would be when I imagined the future as a little girl... not in bad way, I just couldn't imagine exactly where life choose to take me. The love I imagined as a little girl doesn't even compare to what I have with Travis. I just couldn't imagine it until I lived it.

I know the same is true of my future now. I can't imagine what is in store for me. I don't know what might happen with my job, our house, or what marriage will be like. I can try to imagine having a child, but I know that I can't even begin to understand until I go thru it.

But in the same way that my mind travels backward, it still travels forward. I can't really stop either. I can't control either. My mind is what it is... uncontrollable as that may be sometimes. It's hard not to spend time longing.

Luckily I am not that same girl I was in high school. I still get depressed sometimes, but instead of the longing taking over, I have so much more appreciation for the here and now. Weekends like this past one that just make you happy to be alive. That make you happy to be exactly where you are. Good friends, loving family, and of course, an incredible fiance... I have the best support system. I have a great life.

I want this, so that I can look at it sometimes... reread it... absorb it, when I need to. When job stuff or wedding stuff is getting me down, when it feels too overwhelming to stay "here", I just need to read this again and remind myself that here is exactly where I need to be.

11.03.2005


This week I have been leaving work an hour early, and still waiting in line at the train station for 40minutes or more. I would get home about normal time. If I didn't leave that early, it meant a wait of an hour or more... monday I didn't get home until 7.

Today, I walked the 1.15miles to the 30th street train station (instead of my normal Suburban Station)... I heard the line was shorter there. It was. The walk took me about 20 or so minutes because I didn't push myself. The wait was about 15-20 minutes. I left only 15 minutes early and got my regular train to get home at my regular time. Will have to do this again. Much better plan.


All natural, 100% additive free, rose colored glasses.  Posted by Picasa


Contrast makes all the difference... Posted by Picasa

okay, i'm better

So happy that tomorrow is Friday. Day 4 of Septa strike, and no hope in sight (or so the paper read). I'm not minding as long as I keep getting to leave early. Yay.

Sorry I was in a bad mood yesterday. I think we are on the right track now, and just so you all know... you don't have to worry because I have the best fiance in the world. Make that the best significant other, because he is not just good at being a fiance, but he is good at being there for me no matter the title. He is so wonderful.

Ro, if you read this we got the following for tomorrow night: broccoli, carrots, cuccumber, celery, popcorn, pepperoni (trav's making his pepperoni dip), cheese, crackers, chips and salsa, salad (with we'll make with grilled chicken and you can do your own dressing), a Brita (we wanted one anyway... :-) lol), lunch meats, hmm... what else, well i'm sure there is more, but i wanted to let you know in case there was anything else you wanted. I'm mucho excited (especially for the wine, oh i love wine)!!
Oh, and "the stuff" has arrived!! They look good too.

Trav and I watched "Sideways" last night. Good movie! Highly amusing, and I love the end... how it's just like his novel. I'm not a Merlot fan either... okay I won't lie, don't really like many red wines... oh well. Enjoyed the part where Stephanie beats the crap out of Jack. Very rewarding since I wanted to do that the whole movie. Anyone else enjoy this one?

Okay, time for work.


Mama-mobile Posted by Picasa