I just need to banish should from my vocabulary because it is a shitty, painful word.
I guess this is what they mean when they say that grief is cyclical... I really was fine, and today I'm getting back towards fine again... but yesterday, yesterday I was NOT fine. Not at all.
But for today, no more shoulds... only the nows and the what will bes.
Ps. I'm so greatful for hilarious friends that crack me up and make me smile. If you are friends with me on facebook, check out the convo in my status yesterday (the early, angry one) to see what I mean. How could I be upset after that. They are great, they are funny, and I love them.