somewhere between hard and soft, strong and weak

I've been back at yoga now for about 10 weeks now. It feels good to move, to sweat, to work my body hard.

My relationship with my postpartum (round 2) body is funny. With Gwen I was so much more distracted from it. I had a brand new baby to care for. This time around, while I know I'm already so far ahead of where I was then (for numerous reasons), its hard to not just have my body back already. My stomach/core is so much weaker then it was. Everything is softer, shakier.

I have to remind myself over and over that it took 9 months of hard work to put all the baby weight onto my body, months of stretched stomach muscles; it will take time to drop, tighten, tone, and strengthen things up to whatever my new normal will be.

Lately though I've been finding comfort in the positives. How amazing it felt to lay on my back for savasana. Being able to do floor work again and rock out an amazing bow pose. The way, after 8 weeks away, my body and my muscles remembered exactly what they were supposed to do. It might be harder, it might not be as deep or as stable, but it is there.

For now I do my best to concentrate on the progress vs. the desired outcome.


all those days

What have we done over the past month? There were plenty of fun weekends, and full busy weeks. So much normalness, and much normal playfulness.

Amazing how much fun you can have
just rolling around on the floor!

There were pictures, some of which I'll share in the weeks ahead. But here are a few that don't need their own post. 

Gwen, making friends with new family...
One time I wore an elephant shirt. Not worthy of its
own post, but gah, seriously... elephant shirt!!

There were also some bigger things. We made an offer on a house. It was nerve-racking. With 3 other families seeing the house the same day we were, we knew there would be multiple offers. But we figured we had to try since there was no way we would find a more well maintained house in this area for that price!

Alas, we didn't get it.
Breathe, sigh, move onward and upward.

Finally warm enough to REALLY get outside!

All-in-all, it was a great "spring break" from blogging. But now I'm so very happy to be back and am ready to share.


pen to paper

Its funny, but within hours after publishing my blog break post, I felt the urge to write. Indeed, within days I'd started jotting down things I wanted to post about when I returned. By the following week, I had started all out paper journaling again, which I hadn't done in years.

There is something refreshing and satisfyingly liberating about setting pen to paper, and letting whatever I wanted out to flow. No worrying about who was going to read it and what they would think. No worries about how things would sound compared to how I meant them. Not a care about whether the "secrets" were mine alone to share, or needed to be censored. And certainly no care for editing.

Just Write.

Sometimes it wouldn't even be paragraphs, or sentences; but instead words, phrases, ideas, and one-offs. Whatever wanted to come out, did. Period.

Some of those pages and ideas I'll share here. Many I won't.

But it was nice to just get back to writing for me again.