“For West is where we all plan to go some day.*"

Mid-July, when I was writing this post about trying to let go of the things I can't control, and this post about distractions, we were in the process of making appointments to see two houses. This is not something new or exciting... at that point, we'd been looking at houses for 10 months already (ho-ly $#!%). But at the same time that we were making those appointments, we were wondering if we were even going to be keeping them, because Trav was in the process of applying for a job.

In Colorado (holy $#!% again).

He was actually invited to apply, by a former coworker who was buying a company and needed a Comptroller. So he did, and well, he got it.

And come the last week of August, we will be moving to Denver.


This is so not where I thought we would be ending up back when we started this crazy house-hunting journey.  To put it lightly!

But here's the thing about the universe, about life, it takes you where you least expect; and I truly believe there is a plan. I am so excited, and terrified, and happy, and sad, and... everything! I am every emotion right now. But I'm mostly excited.

I have 2 weeks left of work, at the place that's grown me for the past 11 years. A place that frankly, I had outgrown, and that wasn't leading me where I needed to go anymore, but a place full of good people, doing good things, that I had grown to love. A place that I probably would have stayed in for a long time more if not for this.

We have 3.5 weeks left in the house that we've lived in for a decade, the house we brought our baby home to, the only house she's ever known! Yes, we were going to leave it soon anyway, but I would have been sad then too! And this feels very... final. It feels different.

But in about 3.5 weeks, we will start an epic roadtrip half way across the country! I will be able to cross a few more states off the "to visit" list. And in 4 weeks, we will start our lives in a new city. Gwen will start kindergarten. Trav will start his new job. I will enjoy some time off of work. I will get to be the one that picks Gwenie up from school, and makes dinners for her family. I will unpack our boxes, and set up our household. I will hopefully take the steps to work towards a new career direction, while having the time to help my family adjust to this transition.


The other night I lay in bed next to Gwen, after a long discussion of the movie Inside Out, especially about joy and sadness and anger. We talked about how they are all important, and they are all okay to feel. She talked about how all the change lately is making her a little sad, and I told her that I felt that too; but that I also felt excited because there is so much joy to come. Then I sang her the song that I used to sing her every night when she was a baby, in the very same bed that used to be her crib, and let myself feel sad for all we were leaving behind.

Then I got back to feeling exciting... because there is so much joy and adventure in our future!

* “For West is where we all plan to go some day. It is where you go when the land gives out and the old-field pines encroach. It is where you go when you get the letter saying: Flee, all is discovered. It is where you go when you look down at the blade in your hand and the blood on it. It is where you go when you are told that you are a bubble on the tide of empire. It is where you go when you hear that thar's gold in them-thar hills. It is where you go to grow up with the country. It is where you go to spend your old age. Or it is just where you go.”  ― Robert Penn Warren


summertime in the country

We are all products of where we were raised. Of course we all have personal preferences, and may end up roaming far and wide from our home town. It is so true though that what we grew up in, the type of place where we spent our formative years, gives a huge weight to what we consider normal.

I am a country girl at heart, Lord have Mercy, I really am. Give me woods and trees, interspersed with long, wide, ranging fields. Give me no buildings for miles, and your next door neighbors being a football field away. Give me breezes that smell only of trees, grass, flowers... and yes, maybe a touch of manure or skunk, but not exhaust or hot pavement.

Gwen is very much a girl of the suburbs. Not a city girl, by any means... a yard is a must for her. But she would find it all a bit shocking and scandalous not to have multiple grocery stores within a 10 minute ride, or not to be able to hit up a restaurant of any cuisine anytime we desired.

But here's the good news. In the hot of the summer, she too becomes a bit of a country girl. My roots, the root of her roots, show in her love of Nonnie's big flower gardens. Her desire to be outside and see only animals and plants. To have her bare feet firmly planted in the grass, the sun on her face, and the birds providing the music of her days.

I'm so glad.

There is nothing wrong with suburb or urban living, but there is something so grounding and healing about seeing your child find solace and peace in the same place that instantly calms your soul. No matter how far we or she roams, I want her to know that this countryside belongs to her too.
For all of her days.



One of the best things about Cape Cod (and Wanderlust before that... and my brother's wedding since then...) was the fact that I knew I couldn't do a lick of house hunting or other particular things while I was there, so I just forgot about it completely. I mean completely, didn't cross my mind even for a semi-second, not even once.

And it was (pardon my crass) f*cking wonderful. 
Have you ever noticed when you’re tired, your fingers don’t grip things as tightly as they should? That things slip through them more often than you wish? I feel as though I am those fingers and life is slipping through me. 
– Kelsey Danielle (from “Life And Other Things”)

Lord have mercy, I have spent so much damn time thinking about things that I don't have control over lately. Focused on things that I absolutely have to focus on, but have absolutely no control over how they turn out. Its exhausting.

Those breaks were wonderful, but I needed more. So I distract... and play the "when I get to decorate my house and money is no object" game.

Who hasn't played that one, right? 

What would you buy? Me? I'm lusting over a few things.

A wide rough planked farmhouse table:

Maybe one that my dad and I make together from reclaimed wood.

One of these amazing coffee tables made of reclaimed wood and glass:

Fun, funky, nature touches... like this banister:

A completely amazing bookshelf:

A large, cozy window seat... view NOT optional!:

And maybe a killer awesome bunk bed for Gwen, like one of these (though with only two beds):

What do you daydream about when you need distractions?