melt my heart

That face... love!

I can't believe my little girl is 6-weeks old and smiling at me!

Thank goodness too because it makes evenings like last night (trying to get her cranky butt to sleep from 7:30-10, to no avail) easier to bear. Thankfully she repaid us with an amazing night, sleeping until 2am, then 6am, 8am, and then we got up at 9. That would be 4 hours between feedings, not once, but twice!! :-) Yay!

My 6-week appt is tomorrow, so hopefully I get a clean bill of health...


To Do:

1. Sort through the baskets of clothes laying in our room, slowly driving Travis crazy. Pack away maternity clothes, and see what regular clothes actually fit me. Put away those clothes and sort the rest into "love and will fit into again" or "goodwill." Make a list of any basics that are needed.

2. Start walking... though this one requires it to not be raining, and the temp to once again reach a level that I feel comfortable taking my baby out into. Supposed to happen this weekend!

3. Finish the damn post I started weeks ago about baby products I'm loving, and ones I'm not loving so much. I keep forgetting to work on it.

4. Decide between Mirena and ParaGard IUDs. We're waiting a few years before thinking about another... so another IUD is the way to go.

5. Convince Trav we should go to Disney for a long weekend next spring... I'm dying to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter!!


in-law extravaganza

So this has been a very big and busy couple of days for Gwen.
Wednesday night Nana (Trav's mom) flew into town. It was the first time she was meeting Gwen, since she booked her flight before Gwenie was born. We picked her up from the airport and took her straight over to Willy's. It was Willy's first time meeting Gwen too, since we just hadn't been able to coordinate our schedules.

We were there until about 10... which seriously killed Gwen's night schedule.
Trav had off Thursday and Friday, and he gave me the sweetest gift... he took baby duty on Thursday afternoon so his mom and I could go out and get pedicures. :-) It was so nice! We stopped at Target on the way home too, and I got some new sandals. Apparently Gwen was a little fussy, but nothing that a little reggae music couldn't cure!

Another nice thing... I fit into pre-pregnancy pants for the first time on Thursday! And I wore my jeans for the first time in 9 months on Friday! Woo-hoo! Anyway...

His dad flew in that night and Trav went to pick him up while Gwen, Daisy, and I hung out at Willy's.

It was another late night, and another not great sleep for us all.

Friday we headed out to lunch with Trav's parents, Willy, and his aunt Pat... another new person for Gwen. That night Sheila, a family friend of the Hannan's, came into town to visit. We made a point to leave earlier that night though, and we all got better sleep for it.

Saturday we had Trav's parents, Willy, and Sheila over to our place for brunch. I put together an egg bake (fritatta), bacon, fruit salad, and angel food cake. It was great.
Gwen got loved on a bunch... and she was especially in love with Sheila!

That night we headed over to Willy's... and dropped Gwen with the grandparents for our first dinner out alone since our babe arrived! It was great, we got sushi and both got to eat at the same time, both getting to use two hands! ;-) After that we headed back to Willy's to pick up little girl (she apparently did great!), had some dessert with everyone, and headed home.

A really nice thing for me... Gwen apparently did great while we were out, but did start crying just before we got back. I was able to comfort her just by picking her up. It's a great feeling.

Sunday we headed back to Willy's again. Trav's mom, Sheila, and I headed out to do a little shopping, while the guys relaxed with Gwen. I found a cute little dress for Gwen, a dress and top for myself, a new pair of sneakers, and a frame for one of the pictures I ordered from Gwen's photoshoot.

We headed home to relax for a bit, since Trav is back at work today. We were able to do her bedtime routine, which was good... and lead to her sleeping a good 3 hours in her crib before we brought her to bed with us.

Mornings with Gwen are fun... she gets so smily and talkative when I lay her on her changing table.

We make faces at each other and "talk" to each other. It is a great way too start the day!

As for today... well, i've actually been pretty productive! I've washed the dishes, pumped, blogged, read to my girl, sang to my girl, downloaded pictures, got dressed, did tummy time, put away clothes... and in another hour or so we're heading to Willy's, where we'll meet Trav when he's done with work, for some Chinese food. His parents are leaving tomorrow, so this will be our goodbyes. It was a great visit, and I'll be sad to see them go... but we'll be seeing them in July at Cape Cod (Gwenivere will be 5 months! wow!).

On that note, I'm going to go get some more done. Write a note or two and answer some emails until my girl wakes from her nap, then getting ready to head out. Hope everyone's weekends were great.


Happy Spring!!

I meant to write yesterday... to tell you all about our weekend and the fun we had. To tell you about some success with had with sleep. But yesterday was a Bad.Day, so I did not manage to get on here.

I've finally gotten to the point where I feel like I have a handle on things. Like I can manage the certain tasks that I want to accomplish everyday (pumping in the a.m., getting myself a few meals, taking care of the dog, etc.), and get us out of the house some too. Like Friday... we went to the AT&T store... a very successful trip with no meltdowns (no phone either, but that's because I'm waiting for my upgrade in May). But sometimes it just doesn't work... and yesterday was one of those days. Gwen wanted to nurse so much more then normal, and wouldn't sleep anywhere but on me... I had to put her down and listen to her cry, just to get myself some food, which didn't even happen for the first time until 12:30. And at which point, I cried.

Plus I felt horrible... exhausted, feverish, headachy, sore all over. I thought I was just overtired, overwhelmed, until I saw/felt the hot, red patch on my right boob. Mastitis. :-(

My fever seemed to peak at 100.1, which is good, and today its lower and I'm feeling so much better. I'm sure the 5 straight hours of sleep little girl gave me last night helped!! That's right Gwen slept from 11 - 4 am last night. She was up until about 5ish eating and getting her diaper changed, then back down until almost 7, then I pulled her next to me so that we could sleep and I could feed her easily... which we did until 8:30.

Yesterday I talked to the midwife and she told me that a lot of women are able to get rid of the infection on their own... simply by resting a lot and nursing a lot. But she wants me to keep checking my temp, and if it goes past 100.4, then I can pick up an antibiotic that she already called in for me. So, I'm just "monitoring" right now. But, like I said, feeling so much better.

So today is already a much better day!
I woke up before Gwen, to a sunny sky, feeling refreshed. I was able to watch my little girl sleep for a bit, then slip out of bed to get dress and get my teeth brushed. After that we headed to her one month check up. She looks great, very healthy and gaining well. The doc told me to keep doing whatever we're doing, because its working! Definitely a great thing to hear after the day I had yesterday.

As for her stats... we have a long, thin girl on our hands! 8lbs 4oz, which is 25%, and 21.5in long, which is 75%! So she got her mom's build with her dad's height... perfect!

Well, I have to get going and grab some lunch (my second meal of the day, today!)... but here are some pictures from our great weekend.

Saturday the weather was beautiful and we headed to Mary & Casey's for Allison's 2nd birthday. (in order: with mary, with mary's sister Jen and her wife Kim, with Casey)

Mary & Casey's is out past Lancaster... so about a 2 hour drive. On our way home we stopped for Sonic, since there was one on the way. So it was a very long day for our little one... for us too! My two loves napped when we got home:

Sunday, Trav headed to Lehigh for an alumni meeting... so Gwen and I headed to the backyard with Daisy to enjoy the sun (don't worry, 55 sunblock on her!):


Um, nothing gets you going at 2am better then a police car chase that ends in a crash outside of your house!

I was feeding the baby, and heard a racing motorcycle engine... followed by squealing breaks... then a crash. One second later there were cop cars. Trav went to check things out. Turns out the guy had taken off into the park, leaving his female passenger injured on the side of the road. The police did catch him... but for the next hour our block was lit up like the damn 4th of July by over a dozen cop cars.

Crazy, middle of the night excitement!!


6 hour with a clogged duct = 6 hours too much

[Prepare yourself for TMI about my boobs... or skip to the bottom for baby pics.]

Yesterday I noticed that my right boob was sore. The right boob, which was already known as "the bad boob." (Great.) I, er, felt around and found a dime sized hard spot to the side of my nipple. It was sore, to say the least. After some googling, it was apparent that I had a clogged duct.

Clogged ducts are not to be ignored because they can turn into mastitis, which is much worse. The only real treatments for clogged ducts are to nurse, nurse, nurse... rest... and massage the area to break up the clog. Hot compresses can help too.

I'm lucky though... my clog must have been in a great spot, so close to the nerp, because lots of painful massaging, a few super painful nursing sessions, plus a few extraordinarily painful sucks, I have my clear boob back. It still feels bruised, but if this is my only brush with clogged ducts (::knock on wood::), then I'll take it!

Anyway, since we're already oversharing, I might as well keep going. Its one month out and I have some updated stats. First off, I am going to start with the disclaimer that I know it took 9 months for my body to change up... so its not going to go "back to normal" in a month with no work. I know that. And I really am okay with how my body is doing. That said, I thought I would be honest about the good and bad.

So, a month out and I'm down to 121... 3 lbs above pre-preg. But the weight is distributed VERY differently.

First off, these are new:

Yes, my friends... that's me sporting my new 32C bra... and my cup runnith over. :-)

Unfortunately, these are new too:

Those would be the stretch marks that appeared on my thighs AFTER I had Gwen. Tell me how that makes sense?!

Not new, and actually getting rather old...
having a belly:

Granted, I haven't done anything besides a few short walks... but I hate how my always rather flat belly feels soft and squishy.

So, to reiterate.

Now for something much nicer.
We had busy days yesterday and today. I had a check up yesterday morning, and we made a stop on the way home, so we were out most of the day. We did take some pictures though, when we got home.

Hanging out on our playmat:

Daisy, the constant guard:

An updated bath picture, now that we actually enjoy bathtime:

And from today, our second St. Patty's Day outfit.

We wore this to meet Trav for lunch. After that we headed to Toys'R'Us, then Victoria's Secret. Turned out to be one stop too many, and we cried through checkout and had to nurse in the car... but otherwise a successful trip.

Tomorrow, maybe AT&T to check out phones.

For now, off to make some dinner.


Just a quicky to wish you all a

From our family to yours! :-)


one month

Dear Gwen,

Today you are one month old... I can't believe it! In some ways this month has flown by, but at the same time, I can't remember life without you.

Every day you are getting bigger and more alert. You have actual awake times now... times where I can talk to you and read to you, and you just stare at me in the wide eyed amazement. Those beautiful blue-gray eyes just seem to take it all in, and I'm enjoying every extra moment that I get to stare into them.

I love you so much, Gwenie, and just want you to be happy... which makes the crying jags of late rather trying. I'm thinking there's a growth spurt going on because you just want to eat, all.the.time. Breastfeeding is hard sometimes because I get sore, and its hard for me to get anything done when we're constantly attached. But its also wonderful because its special time for you and me, just the two of us. And when you curl your little hand up against my chest... well, it melts my heart into a million pieces.

Just the other day you started having some trouble with sleep. I'm hoping this is a passing phase, the deciding you want to be wide awake at 10 o'clock at night thing, because 10 pm is bedtime for your daddy and i. I've started trying to make a routine for you. Starting around 7:20 we head upstairs and do some tummy time, then a nice warm bath, snuggly PJs, and then I turn the lights down and your sound machine on, and feed you to sleep. I'm hoping you get used to this, and that I can just feed you once more before bed... and not have to walk and bounce you for hours until you'll conk out.

You're still sleeping with us at night... you love to be close, and it makes life a bit easier for me, since I don't have to jump out of bed when you fuss to be fed. I know that I'll miss having you right there when we start to move you to the nursery, so I'm trying to enjoy every little sleepy breath of yours now. Even if I have to remind myself of that at three in the morning!

I was thinking about your "big sister" Daisy the other day, and remembering when we first got her and how tiny she was. I recalled a specific incident, when your daddy used his magic bullet, and the noise scared Daisy... and she came over to me, as I was sitting on the kitchen floor, and sat in my lap. She needed to be close and felt safe when she was with me. Now, in the blink of an eye, she's as big as I am and not my little puppy anymore. Its a good lesson for me... especially when I remember how frustrating she was the first few weeks we had her, and how I cried over her sometimes... and now what I wouldn't give to have that tiny puppy back, just for a few hours, to scoop her up into my lap.

I know the same is going to happen with you. Before I know it, you're not going to be my tiny baby anymore... so even the frustrating bits, I'm trying to enjoy them.

But the frustrating bits just pale next to the lovely parts. Watching you sleep snuggled up on your daddy, seeing your funny faces, and the lovely way you smell after a bath. I love the contented sighs I get when you are happy with a full tummy, and how you try to burrow in deeper when you are sleeping on me. These are the parts I try to tuck away for the hard moments, and burn into my memory... so that a year from now, when you are running around and babbling up a storm, I can recall the feel of your soft cheek against my chest, and your hand gripping the edge of my shirt. I really hope I don't lose these, though I know, like everything else, they will fade with time.

Luckily, there are so many things I'm looking forward to doing with you. So many things to teach you and experience anew with you. And so many more memories that we will make.

I'm so glad you are in my life Gwenivere. You've already made it infinitely more rich. Even my relationship with your daddy is better because of you. Seeing him love you, makes me love him even more. That's how powerful you are already. I can't wait to see all that you become, and all the you accomplish.

I love you to the moon and back,


busy weekend

These two are definitely going to end up best friends!

Jon (Trav's frat bro, and one-time roommate) came over with Apoc on Saturday:

Little girl and I did some snuggling:

Furry girl and Trav did some snuggling:

Lauren, my hoser, came over on Sunday:

More tomorrow, but we are fussy and just want to be held today... and this one handed typing takes forever!


Evening things up:

And just a cute one of her napping yesterday (don't worry, i never leave her alone on our bed):


ten quick blurbs

  • My stupid dog has started chewing everything again... don't know what's up other then her wanting more attention (guess that's all that needs to be up, huh?). She got into some chocolate covered espresso beans yesterday and I spent the whole day worrying she was going to die. She didn't, obviously. Stupid dog.

  • Gwen and I headed to the pediatricians again this morning, since she has been all congested and I was worried. She has a cold, but the doc isn't worried (we just have to put saline drops in her nose to loosen it up), and says that she looks good otherwise.

  • She now weighs 7 lbs 8 oz! My little girl is getting so big. :-)

  • Brandy is going to send me some watermarked images from Gwen's newborn photoshoot for me to stick up here. Can't wait to share them with you. She did such a great job and I recommend her 100-fold. You can see them all here: if you know our last name. The password is our last name in all lowercase.

  • On our way home from the doctor's, we stopped at the Target... I got two more nursing tanks and two nursing bras. I'm stupidly excited about that since I've basically been wearing the same my two nursing tanks everyday for the past three weeks (don't worry, they've been washed multiple times in there!). And the bra's mean that I can wear some of my regular clothes (although be it "easy access" tops). Plus I'll need them when I go back to work.

  • I also got a basket for the freezer to organize my pumped milk, a mirror for by her carseat so I can see her when driving, and a cute dress. A very successful trip. Especially for Gwen and my first solo trip (she slept the whole time)!

  • Trav got me an ottoman!! I have been using the stupid carseat box as an ottoman since I was about 8 months pregnant... I just needed to be able to put my feet up. So he ordered me one that is also storage. What a sweetie.

  • Tonight we are taking advantage of the nice weather to go for a walk. I think that will be nice for all of us. Hot damn, I can't wait for spring and walking all the time.

  • I bought Trav's birthday present... he's 30 this year and I wanted to do something special. I think he's really going to like it, though obviously I can't put what it is yet, just in case. I also figured out what I'm going to do for him for father's day. The bday present is big, so its sort of for both... but I figured out something cute to do for father's day too. Can't wait.

  • I want to do something special with my mommy the day before mother's day... something to show her how much she means to me, and let her know that I appreciate her even more now! I was thinking maybe just a nice lunch, but would love to hear if anyone has any other thoughts. Ideas?
Okay, that's all I have for now. Ta-ta!


almost 3 weeks in and semi-crunchy thoughts

I actually have a free moment with no baby in my arms, which makes it much easier to type(!), so I thought I would drop in and post some actual thoughts. So I'm almost 3 weeks into this being a mom thing, and it is both amazing and so difficult all at the same time.

I'm so enjoying my snuggly newborn... the one that wants to be held close all the time, and who is comforted when I feed her (more on breastfeeding below). But it can also be frustrating on those days when I can't put her down for long enough to get dressed, or it becomes a choice whether I want to brush my teeth or put on clothes (as you might have guessed, I've been wearing my PJs a lot!), because she only wants to sleep when she's laying on me. I know it can be frustrating for Trav when I escape for a quick shower, and though we try to time it right, he can do nothing to comfort her because she just wants the boob. But it can also be so blissful, and there is nothing like breathing in that newborn scent as she naps on your chest... especially just after a bath.

I find myself a little resentful of Trav sometimes, since he can off and run to the store or take a shower whenever he wants. Even when he's here, I have to "time" it so that she isn't waking up hungry as soon as I leave. Its not his fault, but its still frustrating. Still, its easy to forget that when I see him talk to her, cradle her, and love her. I'm more then a little excited that our pediatrician wants us to introduce a bottle after four weeks, just one a day, so she can get used to it. I know Trav will be thrilled that he can finally offer her that comfort too... and I will be thrilled to have that little bit more freedom.

As you might have guessed, breastfeeding is also both lovely and exhausting too. It is an amazing thing to be able to feed my daughter from my own body, as women have been doing for thousands of years. I love the feeling of closeness, and how sweet it is when she reaches up and contently rests her hand on my chest. But for something so natural, it can be damn difficult!! At first she only wanted one boob... and we still have problems with latching on the other one when she's overly tired or hungry. And that leads to engorgement, which HURTS! Then there is the stuff I mentioned above, where I'm almost constantly attached to her. And the fact that I'm the only one that can feed her right now.

BUT! we're sticking it out. Making small goals and while there are rough days, on the whole, we're getting better and better at this. I have high hopes that we'll be able to keep this up for at least six months... and I'm hoping to make it to a year.

On one last crunchy note, before I wrap this up, I'm going to make a statement I never thought I would say... We're co-sleeping. Before she was here, I was beyond NOT interested in co-sleeping. I figured I would be too paranoid to get good sleep... and thought our bed was too small... and etc etc etc. But little girl had other plans, and when I was up every 15 - 20 minutes on that first night, for an hour before Trav said, "just bring her to bed with us." ... well, honestly at that point I wasn't going to fight it. She wanted to be close to us. So we are now the proud owners of a snuggle nest, and I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth... especially on those nights that she goes for 3 - 4 hours between feedings!

I figured we'll move the whole snuggle nest into the cradle in our room after a while, then move the snuggle nest into her crib in the nursery, then switch her just to the crib. But there is plenty of time for that, and its actually rather nice right now having her right there between us.

Well look at me... co-sleeping, breastfeeding, baby wearing... looks like my hippie is showing. ;-)

Anyway, I have to get going... but if you made it this far, I'll reward you with some more pictures...

from last weekend:

from this week:
daddy is trying to convert me already:

Our girl... what a cutie. :-)

More later.