Our Relationship is a Touch-Point

Have you ever broken up with a friend? I haven't, but I have been broken up with once. I think it was 4th grade, and it wasn't some bring dramatic event, but a soft affirmation that we had other best friends that were more deserving of our time. It still hurt.

I had been thinking about breaking up with a friend over the course of a few months, and while I've moved on from that idea strictly, I still played all those games in my head where you create and perfect the conversation. In my mind I explained to them the reason I didn't feel that our relationship was the healthiest for either of us anymore, but when it came down to it, it was a metaphor that imaginary me used on imaginary them which caused me to stay.

Some relationships, the best ones, build you up and strengthen you in your weakest moments. They lift and balance you. They withstand all struggles. Our relationship, I reasoned, was like a yogi's hands in a forward fold. (Stick with me.) In a good forward fold there is no weight in the hands, because when there is you risk missing out on your deepest fold... you accidentally hold yourself out, holding yourself up from your potential. But those hands become a gentle touch-point, a way to maintain your awareness of your position in space, a way to feel safer and more balanced.

Our relationship might not be weigh-bearing, I realized, but it is a Touch-Point. And its okay to have those relationships too; ones that might not carry the heavy weight in life, but still help you keep your sense of balance.

Who are touch-points in your life? Who are weight-bearers?



It turned cold yesterday. I mean, its been cold off and on for a month now, but yesterday the high was in the 30s, and it is November, so I guess I can't complain, but I spend a lot of time during the day trying to warm up and not wanting winter to be just around the corner. November is the time I year when I pause and think, "oh shit, how did that happen?!" How did the summer rush by, and the best parts of autumn pass, and Thanksgiving is only 2 weeks away (?!) with Christmas only a month later.

Days long, years short, blah blah blah... but really.

I was talking to a friend recently and we were catching up on whats been happening. Life has been busy lately, but when it came down to tell her specifically what I/we have been up to, my brain just kind of when, "uhhhhhh." A million little tiny things, I suppose. Running here, running there, constantly wishing for just a few more hours in the day.

Teacher conferences were yesterday and Gwen is absolutely rocking 3rd grade after a rough start. I can't remember if I wrote about that, but she was struggling a bit earlier... not academically, but with the adjustment back to school, the more scholarly approach in third grade. She's a smart cookie and a hard worker, but can become frustrated with the situation and herself when she doesn't get something right away. We had to reiterate over and over that its okay to make mistakes, that no one is perfect, and that one of her best traits is the ability to keep trying, keep pushing. She is doing amazing now, and is back to enjoying school for the most part.

I'm teaching more then normal right now, which I'm really loving, and I think I have some ideas about how I want to do things moving forward after my current doula client births. Learning, growing, figuring it out as we go along, right?

I was going to write something here about the election being over, but I don't have it in me right now to do it justice. So here's what I wrote on Instagram:

And I guess that's all I have for now. What's new in your world?



Life speaks in metaphors, and my newest addiction is no exception. I dream of jumping out of planes, and I wake in a sweat, euphoric. I walk around during the day wishing for the fall, constantly both feeling that intense consuming longing and simultaneously feeling the butterflies in my stomach.

I cannot stop thinking about skydiving. I’ve been talking with a few friends about AAF; it’s not the time for a few reasons. But tandem jumps, I want them all.

I long to let go and fly, I’m scared of the fall.

Here’s the thing: the second I’m out the plane door all fear is gone. There’s excitement and awe, there’s peace and joy and utter exhilaration! I wonder if the rest of life could be the same if only I was brave enough to jump?

In the meantime, I dream constantly of being among the clouds.