I am currently in the process of making a new journal at Blogger. I won't be using that one for a while, so don't worry about it... but eventually I will switch over (and let you all know) because it allows you to put pictures in your posts and other fun things (for free). BUT right now I am moving my old posts from here to there. Copy paste, change date, save, repeat. Not 100% of them, but the ones I feel are worthy. Losing all my old posts has kept me here until now. I've been here since 2002, so reading these old posts is a weird kind of flashback. It's amazing how much I've changed in just two and a half years. It's also amazing how some things never change.

From a Nov. 2002 post:
"I know what you mean about feeling like you've been trying to escape this whole semester. i've definitely felt the same way. i fine myself constantly saying the same things: "i'll be fine after:" this rent is paid, after this test is over, the semester is done, i graduate, etc! i keep looking forward to summer, and when it's summer i look forward to school. i'm constantly saying that i'll be happy when this happens, or when that happens, and i really am tired of it. i want to be able to say that i am happy now. the closest i come to that is definitely when i'm laying in travis' arms, ignoring school, and just relaxing. i just wish i could feel like that more often."

I still find myself doing that... claiming that happiness will come when X is accomplished. However, there will always be some new X, some new standard for acheivement, and I have to learn to be happy with where I am now. This is probably always something I will struggle with.


Welcome to the world SRM!!!

Welcome to the World Samuel...
it's a little cold sometimes... a little harsh... but a little better for having you in it!

Samuel Reagan M***** - born 6/28/05 at 11am. 8 lbs. 5 oz. 20.5" Posted by Hello

Samuel Reagan Posted by Hello

Laura on the C-section table. Posted by Hello


Rochelle and Pat on their honeymoon Posted by Hello

life's uncertainties

It's funny how life is full of so many uncertainties... I have two blogs that I read on a regular basis, one with a women who has MS, and one by the husband of a women with leukemia. They were both just regular people with regular lives, and dreams of what their futures would hold... and not neither knows what tomorrow will bring, let alone whether they will be able to complete all their "life to dos". But no one really knows.
Life might feel more uncertain when you add in an illness like that, but the truth is, it is just as uncertain for everyone else. I don't know what tomorrow brings for me, for travis, for my family and friends. I could live to be 100 years old and complete every single one of my "to do before i die" items... or I could get hit by a car crossing the street tomorrow, and that's it. It's a strange feeling. There is so much I want to do in life, and while I have some control over it... honestly it's not up to me. I don't know how much I like that. But it doesn't matter if I like it or not... that's just how it is.
I suppose that's why you are always encouraged to live everyday as fully as possible. But its such a struggle to reconcile the differences between living my days how I would like, and living them in such a way that I can make a living and support myself.
"We cannot change yesterday. We can only make the most of today, and look with hope toward tomorrow."
Every day is a new day and you just have to make the most of it.

Had a great weekend though... my Babwa and I. We didn't get to see the damn movie, but that's another story all together. But we had plenty of fun... and on Sunday before I took her home we went to David's Bridal for a little. I tried on some wedding dresses, and Babs tried on some Bridesmaid dresses. It was great.

On another note:
I'm very excited that June is almost over. It was a good month, and a lot of fun... but I'm excited with all that is coming up in July. Starting off with the weekend of the 4th, down in DC with my Uncle Wray, then having my parents down (weekend of my mom's birthday - 17th), then Cape Cod the last week of July... and coming home with our new puppy!! :-) That puppy is a whole other can of worms. I'm so excited to get it, but we are having trouble finding a dog walker that we can afford, and one that we aren't worried about flaking out on us. So wish us luck on that one.
And, of course, keeping praying that God will rain down a wedding from Heaven. Lol.

Okay, I have to get back to work... we have a big lecture today, and I'm needed! :-)


longest 15mins of my life

Did you ever notice how the last 15minutes of the day take FOREVER to go by? Especially when you have somewhere you are going after work, and you just want to be there.
We are heading to see Willy and Barb after work for dinner before she flies home on Saturday (she couldn't get on standby for today). These 15 minutes are my hell. Tomorrow will be no better I suspect, as not only will it be the weekend... but it is also the weekend where I am getting my haircut, and that my Babwa is coming down! We are going to see Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants and be sappy. Plus we are going to Mike's for dinner with him and Megan tomorrow night. That will not help either. Grr.
The rest of the day could have flown, but you always seem to look with somewhere between 10-30minutes left, and then they just drag.

God have pity on my eternal soul and rain me a wedding from Heaven. :-)



So Travis and I had a successful weekend... after the debaticle on thursday, with the shutting down of trains, and the refueling of airplanes, and the not going to dinner... friday ended up much more successful. First off, I'm almost glad that my boss is back, as friday was a little boring! But that's an admission that needs to be quickly glossed over.
So we picked up Rachel, her bf Chris, and a friend John. Sushi was good, and the guys were great. Movies after and it was a nice time.
Saturday we... shit, what did we do Saturday? OH YEA... we slept in to 11, then headed to Willy's to see Willy and Trav's mom, and help them make dinner for one of Willy's sisters. Then it was home to relax. I feel like we did something else too, but I honestly can't remember Saturday all that well. Weird.
Sunday we headed to a father's day picnic held by Trav's aunt/godmother... and ate too much food. Then Willy and Barb (Trav's mom) got to see our place for the first time. We then headed to see Ro and Pat who are just back from their honeymoon. Fun stuff.

That was most of the weekend, except we also had a break thru... if we don't eat from now until the wedding, and we both get second jobs, then God will feel sorry for us and he will send the perfect wedding down from Heaven. And all will be right in the world. So rejoice pilgrims, for all is now solved.

Well, at least part of that is true. We probably will both get a second job to bring in extra cash. Not until after his brother's wedding... but then most likely yes.

And of course that whole raining down weddings from Heaven thing.

Okay, I have to get back to work. Now that my boss is here I have things to do. Plus it distracts me from the gas... bah. My lower intestine feels like it is about to explode. FUN!


I am from...

So I was doing my daily "i don't want to work yet, so i will peruse my favorite blogs" run down my favorites list. My personal favorites are Mary and Casey's Blog (with their baby Brenna), Poop and Boogies, and Dooce. Heather, from Dooce, has lately grown to be my idol. She is just so herself... loud and obnoxious and sooo open. GREAT! But today's little "game" is brought to you by William of Poop and Boogies.
Since my boss is not here until Monday (sweet!), I am killing time and being slightly bored. So commence the online gaming...

This is a cool little writing exercise that has been going around the blog world. It is like Mad Libs memories. The theme is I am From. The format is somewhat simple (I am From______(insert ordinary item), from______(insert product name) And So forth).

Williams example: "I am from not showing our report cards because one of us got bad grades and we wanted to protect him from being grounded, from my sister beating up the bullies in the neighborhood."


I am from hippie parents with comfortable clothes, and broken in furniture, and from a wide open house.

I am from macaroni and yeasty cheese, and from orange soda, milk with ice, and moonlight mint tea.

I am from summers by my Babwa's pool, and the smell of cow manure on the field next door.

I am from mum-mum's "caniptions", and hot dogs with buns on the side, and cheeseballs.

I am from being tucked in to my bed every night until i didn't need it anymore, and from Cat Steven's songs sung by my papita as i fell asleep.

I am from papita reading the Hobbit and the Chronicle's of Narnia outloud to me while waiting for the school bus, and from taking the bus until i graduated because i refused to get my license until i was 19.

I am from a small town with big people, from the Labyrinth and Dirty Dancing and the Princess Bride.

I am from my blankie, and from the old swing-set in the back of the yard.

I am from two dogs, a cat, a guinea pig, and five fish; and from a MIA older sister.

I am from the same best friend for 18 years, and from hanging stockings at Christmas, and letting "Santa" decorate the tree.

I am from two weeks of teaching bible school every summer for 5 (or so) years, and being old enough to watch my brother grow up from the beginning.

I am from the chorus and the band, and from drama productions with dancing and singing.

I am from bi-polar disorder and the strongest women in the world, and from years of arguing with and hating my father.

I am from loving my papita more then words can say, and from having more happy then sad memories that i actually remember.


Okay, now it is your turn... play the game on your blog, and let me know that you did so i can check it out!!


break it down now...

First things first... I don't know if I ever wished my Babwa a Happy Birthday. Well, I did, but I don't know if I did on here.
So: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABWA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wuv you.

Okay. So I'm super excited for Mike and Megan... who are now officially engaged, and are getting married next July 7th. Megan is so ahead of the game and they not only do they have their site booked, but she also has her dress and the bridesmaid dresses (of which I am one... yay!) picked out. Hate her and her togetherness... ;-) J/k. I can't wait to see her as a beautiful blushing bride. And it will be fun because of all the great people in the wedding.

Now for the breaking down part:
HOW THE HELL ARE TRAVIS AND I GOING TO PAY FOR A FUCKING WEDDING??!?!?!?!! I'm totally panic-stricken. I mean, we have a year and a half, but the average wedding costs about $15,000... and even though we will certainly be thrifty, and keep things simple, (when i asked travis what he wanted for our wedding, his answer was "cheap") this wedding will easily cost us $8,000 - 10,000. Which, in case you were wondering, is about $500 - 625 a month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Um, how many of you have $625 extra laying around at the end of the month?! If you do, please pass it on... because We Do Not. And if you haven't gathered this, we will be paying for our own wedding. So if anyone has any grand ideas (besides eloping), please let me know.


hot hot hot

So it is supposed to hit the 90s again for the 3rd or 4th day in a row, gwah. Summer is suddenly here and I'm not sure if I like it. In the air conditioning at work I am either freezing or comfortable, depending of course on what I wear. AKA If I wear next to nothing, then I am okay outside, but cut-glass-nipples inside. And if I dress semi-appropriately (for work), then I am sweltering outside, but okay inside. At our house (at least in the bedroom) I am always melting away to nothign because of our no AC thing... although at least now we have a fan (yay travis). The downstairs actually stays pretty okay, and the basement is the perfect temp... but it has the one downside of being an UNFINISHED BASEMENT... doesn't exactly scream good time.

Anywho. This past weekend was Rochelle's Bachelorette Party, and fun was had by all. I got to the hotel around 5 o'clock, and checked us in. We stayed at the Hyatt at Penn's Landing (on the pier), and it is a gorgeous hotel. Love love loved the room. I "decorated" with much posters of half-naked men, and made goody bags with little nips of alcohol and penis straws a plenty. Good times were had by... well, me.
Everyone else joined me at the hotel between 6:30 and 6:50... and we headed to dinner at La Veranda on Pier 3. Awesome restaurant, great food, great service... very understanding people. ;-) I think after our first bottle of wine was gone, we started getting louder. Opps. After that it was back to the hotel to change for our night out... and decorate the bride. Everyone got their goody bags, and we played a game, and prizes were given. It was a good time.
Then we headed to the "main event"... the second show at The Cave. VERY good times were had by all. Ro got humped appropriately, and we all got to check out some hotties (Mmmm.... Louey...). I managed to be found by the only stripper in the joint that seemed to want to snuggle as opposed to hump, but I suppose that was for the better. Ro got to go onstage for a "hot seat"... basically a lap dance, but up on the stage for all to watch. They go all out... I'm talking penis-flapping-in-face action here. It was amusing to watch, to say the least. The show lasted until about 1:30, at which point we exited back into the Club Flo section of the joint, and danced for a little before heading out for the evening around 10 of 2.
Then we proceeded to WALK, in heels/boots/etc, the mile plus walk back to the hotel (we did have our reasons, but it still SUCKED!), where we promptly fell into chairs, beds, floors, etc. and didn't want to move. So that was our evening... and it was GREAT!!! The only part that sucked was when I woke up to take a poop at 3 f*in AM, then to pee at 4... damned wine.

The rest of the weekend sort of blurs... friday we picked up, and hung up, our blinds for our bedroom finally. Thank god, I was starting to get a little freaked by the thought of the neighbors "catching us". But we really only got to sleep with them closed one night anyway, because then the heat started and it is open windows for us. Sunday it was basically trying to stay off my very sore feet... This week has gone pretty fast so far, and i am excited because today it's like thursday, even though its only wednesday, because i have friday off, so tomorrow is like friday, which means today is like thursday. Got that?

Tomorrow after work we head up to Lehigh to pick up Phil, then up to Athens, PA for Rochelle and Pat's wedding. Friday is the rehearsal ceremony and rehearsal dinner. Also Trav getting his final tux fitting in the morning (he's a groomsmen), me probably getting nails done in the morning (I'm a bridesmaid)... and maybe a little boy vs. girl bowling at the end of the night. :-) Saturday is, of course, the wedding. VERY EXCITED! We have early hair appointments, then it is back to the hotel to get ready... and you know the rest. I'm very excited for this weekend.
Hmm... do I have anything else to report? Well, our house is slowly starting to look like a livable place. The living room is now more or less arranged, and our TV stand is together and appropriately set up. Things are getting moved to the proper rooms, and I'm actually starting to believe that we will be done with this setting up crap in the next month or so. Go us. Still have to do our closet... but now we actually know what we will be finishing it with. So that is a huge step... and it will only take us a day to measure the closet and buy the material, then sand down the walls some, rip off the weird molding they have IN the closet, and put up the new material. Then we can hang our bars, and we are done!! :-) That will probably happen next weekend, since this weekend is obviously out.
Okay, well now I really have to get to work... another blase post to check off my list. ;-) Maybe I should close by just saying boobs and poop a few times to spice things up. No? Okay, well, I'll leave that up to you then. But I will let you know that it is only 10:15, and it is 91 degrees out already!!!

Mother of God, it is going to be quite the day. Ciao!!!!!!!


May = the new high.

So I am happy to report that you all brought me to a new time high in visits to my little corner of the internet in May... numbers that had not been reached since March, and I am happy to think that it is because you all come here to watch my slow decay into insanity. Yes, you showed up in droves to push me into the multiple hundreds. Thank you thank you... I will do my best not to disappoint.

Now for your continued amusement... a conversation between my coworker and I yesterday. If all days were like this week has been, I think I would actually enjoy my job.
Setting the scene: I have a drawer in my desk known as the "snack haven" because it is full of every kind of goody that you can imagine, so that when I get a craving I can satisfy it in a timely manner. Said coworker has since learned about it, and is happy to visit me (it) multiple times a week, sometime daily.

CoWorker: Open the drawer!

Me: (laughing) What do you want?

CoWorker: Something that will make me poop.

Me: Excuse me?

CoWorker: Yea, I need to poop.

Me: Umm...

CoWorker: (looking in drawer)

Me: How about fig newtons? I think figs might be good for poop.

CoWorker: Okay, two of those please.

Me: Um, I hope everything works out okay.

And you will all be happy to know that my CoWorker has since pooped and is doing well. I think she was relieved because I found a whole package of fig newtons waiting for me on my desk this morning.

P.S. Travis, I am wearing a thong. :-)