flashback

I am currently in the process of making a new journal at Blogger. I won't be using that one for a while, so don't worry about it... but eventually I will switch over (and let you all know) because it allows you to put pictures in your posts and other fun things (for free). BUT right now I am moving my old posts from here to there. Copy paste, change date, save, repeat. Not 100% of them, but the ones I feel are worthy. Losing all my old posts has kept me here until now. I've been here since 2002, so reading these old posts is a weird kind of flashback. It's amazing how much I've changed in just two and a half years. It's also amazing how some things never change.

From a Nov. 2002 post:
"I know what you mean about feeling like you've been trying to escape this whole semester. i've definitely felt the same way. i fine myself constantly saying the same things: "i'll be fine after:" this rent is paid, after this test is over, the semester is done, i graduate, etc! i keep looking forward to summer, and when it's summer i look forward to school. i'm constantly saying that i'll be happy when this happens, or when that happens, and i really am tired of it. i want to be able to say that i am happy now. the closest i come to that is definitely when i'm laying in travis' arms, ignoring school, and just relaxing. i just wish i could feel like that more often."

I still find myself doing that... claiming that happiness will come when X is accomplished. However, there will always be some new X, some new standard for acheivement, and I have to learn to be happy with where I am now. This is probably always something I will struggle with.