October Marches On - Part Two

We got our first snow this month too.

But in typical Colorado fashion, two days later it was completely gone! 😄 Seriously these were taking in the same place literally two days part (almost to the minute).

Gwen was thrilled to have the snow, but I'm happy to have a little more time before it becomes a regular thing! I'm happy for more mornings on the porch!

So you'll notice the "spider webs" on the porch, we distributed our Halloween decor! This lead to more then a few heart attacks on my part because:

Best/worst paper witch placement ever!

The 13th of the month was a really big day. It was Trav and my anniversary, and we celebrated with adorable little Friday the 13th tattoos.

That night Gwen also finally lost her first tooth! Ever since her cousin (who is 3 months younger) lost his first tooth LAST summer, she has been VERY eagerly awaiting this moment.

Trav and my celebrations continued the next day, with a trip (just the two of us) to Elitch Gardens for their Fright Night!

We got to ride all the rides we don't normally get to go on when there with Gwen, and check out their creepy haunted house.

Speaking of out...

National Coming Out Day used to be a day of shame for me because there was a huge block of time when I wasn't confident enough to loudly and proudly proclaim my pan/bi-sexuality. I was out to my close friends in high school, and generally completely out in college, but then somehow became more closeted after graduation. It wasn't intentional, but since I've been with Travis, I "pass." With each new year, it was harder and harder to undo that. A few years ago now I finally had enough.

"As as pansexual/bisexual woman in a heterosexual relationship, I have the "luck" of passing as heterosexual. But I'm not, and my sexuality is a real part of my identity that I'm not ashamed of. In what is becoming a big season of growth and change for me, I feel it is important to be honest and open in a way that may help others do the same. Happy National Coming Out Day!"

Since then, I've loved National Coming Out Day!

Lastly! Farmer's Market and Playground Days!

Yesterday was actually the last Farmer's Market of the season! We'll miss these fun Sunday mornings, for sure, but we'll be back in May.

And that was our October! I can't believe its already basically over.


October Marches On - Part One

Halloween is still to come tomorrow, but October is just about done. This is my favorite month of the year, and this year was no disappointment!! Here's some of what we've been up to (more on the biggest thing, an international trip, soon!).

The month dawned with some damn gorgeous fall colors, and perfect autumn temps.

Our apartment complex hosted a Fall Festival at the beginning of the month, including a bounce house.

Even the adults got a turn! (It was way more tiring then I thought it would be!)

School has been going well for Gwen. Brag moment: she started getting pulled for the gifted and talented program this month also!

We enjoyed some lazy weekend mornings:

We've all been reading a ton lately. I finally read the Girl on the Train and Dark Places (by the woman who wrote Gone Girl). Gwen's been loving Harriet the Spy and the Captain Underpants books.

At the beginning of the month we hit up the Horseshoe Market, a quarterly craft/indie market. I never even knew it was around, but my favorite magazine, Taproot, had a booth!

I picked up some gorgeous earrings there:

We headed to Elitch Gardens, the local amusement park, for the first time this season, enjoying some free tickets from the Avs for fan appreciation day! 


We had such a good time that it inspired Trav and my anniversary outing...

I did and taught a lot of yoga this month. I subbed a bunch of classes for people traveling, at least two extra classes each week that I wasn't traveling.

Next month I have a doula client due, so I won't be able to sub, so it was nice to get it in now!

Daisy enjoyed the cooler days, since it meant she could spend longer lying in the hot sun... one of her favorite things!

Our sweet beast is just as sweet as always, but she does seem to be slowing down just a little. Her 9th birthday is next month.

I planned to write this as one post, but then it got so picture heavy I had to split it into two!


Wordless Wednesday {Trunk-Or-Treat}

Because of the timing of their Fall Break, 
Gwen's school's Trunk-Or-Treat was a little early this year. 

We were a rather random assortment of Star Wars characters, 
but it was a lot of fun.  😊


As You Read This...

As you read this, we're fulfilling a long held dream, visiting with my surro-baby in France! Can't wait to share more with you when we return!



Songs in the Dark

It had been a rough day. Gwen had woken tired and cranky, and as the day went on it had become a fragile brittleness, leaving her prone to spells of anger and tears. She needed sleep, and I had my own reasons to be short. It all culminated in a game becoming a level of competitive that was more angry then fun, and then tears and rage.

As I put her to bed that night, I held her close and sang the song that I used to sing to her every night as a baby. The dam broke and her tears rushed forward, great heaving sobs that shook her body and drenched her face. She cried because she didn't know why she was so angry, because she was sad for the way she acted and the things she said.

As the tears dried up, she asked me to sing the song one more time. I did, rubbing her back. It was then I noticed how big my hand looked on her back in that moment. She is larger then life sometimes, with her hair all the way down her back, her personality for ages, and a smile that lights up the room. She is gaining freedoms each day, proving her responsibility. Its easy to forget how small she still is.

She slept a long time that night, and the next day was a new day, with easier emotions. We learn the most sometimes, not during the anger, but in the stillness after the storm. Singing our songs into the dark.


11 - 17

17 years (and 1 day) ago, I walked into a fraternity party.

I had absolutely no expectations for that night other then drinking some drinks, meeting some new people, and cutting loose for the night. College until that night had been a mixed bag. I had made a few good friends (some of which are still friends to this day), but overall I felt lonely. I missed my crew from back home, and didn't feel like I'd really found my people yet. That night I stumbled across a boy. We ended up playing on the same team for a drinking game, and hanging out for the rest of the night. As I left to head back to my dorm, way later then I intended, he very forwardly kissed me goodnight and told me to "come back tomorrow." I did, and I basically never left.

I found my people in that fraternity house. Friends that grew to be family, people I still love and cherish to this day. Psi Upsilon was my home for my 4 years at Lehigh. The place that I could always find someone to talk to, full of people who understood me and accepted me. That boy was Travis, we were together, a couple from that very next day on. By 6 months in, I was completely head over heels in love and knew that I would marry him.

The following year he pinned me, a tradition that made me an official part of the Psi U family, allowing me to wear the letters and proclaiming that he intended this relationship to be something permanent. After he graduated, 2 years before me, we started a semi-long distance relationship; him working full-time 1.5 hours away. Weeks were spent apart, talking on the phone at night, but up he would come on weekends, squeezing everything we could into those 48 hours. It wasn't always easy, but we made it work.

After I graduated it felt like our life together really started. We moved in to an apartment with a college friend, and 7 months later he proposed! The following year we bought our house, the one we still own, the one we made into a home. We worked real jobs and adjusted to life away from college. It wasn't easy to replace classes and homework with day jobs and bills, but we made that transition together.

11 years ago today, a year after buying our house, at just 24 and 26 years of age (babies!) we got married. It was a perfect autumn day, cool and crispy, but sunny. I woke up that morning, squeezed between my Babs and my Hoser, feeling nervous and excited and like I couldn't believe the day was here. Six years had passed, which felt like a lifetime at the time. We had no idea what was in store for us!

Eleven years. Three pregnancies, one miscarriage, one surrogacy, one amazing child. Thousands of working hours, endless days of trying to find a healthy balance. Countless trips. Fights and makeups, discussions and quiet expressions beyond words. A cross-country move, career changes. So many changes. Love. Love, love, love. And growth.

Marriage is hard, life is confusing, but Travis has been my constant.

The past two years it feels like everything has changed. But what hasn't changed is how much I love my husband, how grateful I am to have him by my side.

I don't know what the future holds, what other changes are in store for us, but I know that I'm grateful you are the one with whom I get to tackle them! Happy Anniversary!


Wordless Wednesday {Twilight Yoga}

Playing around with a new variation of an old favorite... this was hard!

Such beautiful light this night.