A Family Visit and Skiing

Last week Trav was up in the mountains Wednesday through Friday. His brother Andy came into town on Tuesday night, and Gwen and I enjoyed a super quick visit with him before they headed off the next morning to do some skiing.

I know it was so nice for Trav to have a few days off of work and off of parenting, to enjoy some time doing one of the things that he loves most. It was especially nice to get to do it with his brother, who we don't get to see nearly enough.

Gwen and I enjoyed our time together too, and I'm glad I could return the favor that Trav has extended to me so often (especially last year!). Here's to time off!


Wordless Wednesday {New Skills}

After much practice, Trav has mastered the French Braid!
This is a lovely development for me!

Gwen has found learning to ride a 2 wheeler
to be much harder then she first anticipated, but she
continues to practice, and is doing amazingly!!


[in Just-]

in Just-
spring          when the world is mud-
luscious the little
lame balloonman

whistles          far          and wee

and eddieandbill come
running from marbles and
piracies and it's

when the world is puddle-wonderful

the queer
old balloonman whistles
far          and             wee
and bettyandisbel come dancing

from hop-scotch and jump-rope and




balloonMan          whistles

-- E. E. Cummings 



We never seem to get to celebrate our Equinox and Solstice celebrations on the actual day of. One of us working, mostly, but other events occasionally. Tuesday night I worked, and Trav's brother Andy was flying into town as well, so we celebrated Ostara on Monday evening... even though it looked like this when we woke up!:

(Oh Colorado...)

Ostara is all about balance, the light and dark, day and night, are even on the first day of spring. Its a time of rebirth and awakening. We celebrate with pastel colors, eggs, seeds, and flowers.

And light, of course, we always celebrate with light! Candles, and I smudged the house with sage. (We'd gotten some good spring cleaning in a few days prior.)

I made ham, cheese, and spinach quiche; and a honey cake. We had berries, fruits, sunflower seeds, and elder flower sparklers. Gwen got some robin's eggs as a treat since she doesn't eat regular eggs.

And on Tuesday morning, the actual day of Ostara, I celebrated with a nice with breakfast, that made me very happy indeed.

I hope that your spring brings growth, balance, and so much light into your life! Happy Ostara!!


Trip Down Memory Lane.

I recently decided to look up an event from a few years ago, I wanted to be reminded of some details. What I found in my search, was so many posts with so many memories!

Post that remind me of how far I've come:

An Honest Post about Loneliness

“For West is where we all plan to go some day.*"

On Never Having Another: Grieving What You Don't Want

Things About Colorado

Posts that make me feel sad, wistful, and happy all at the same time:

the memory of her smell

life and death and everything in between

summertime in the country

Posts that show me some things remain the same:

6 Things You May Not Know About Me

The Subjectiveness of Time

things will bloom

CM: memories of Mama

And posts that just make me smile:

The 5 Best Things about Surrogacy

I'm so grateful for this blog. I'm grateful for the outlet, for the memories it keeps for me. Thank you for being a part of that.


Walk Off the Earth {2018 Concert #2}

Back in 2015, Tally and I hit up the Fillmore in Philadelphia to see one of our favorite bands, Walk Off the Earth. On Tuesday night, Travis, James, and I hit up the Fillmore in Denver to see them play again!

They never disappoint. Seriously such a fun band, and such an amazing show. It was Trav and James's first one, and they loved it.

Me? I'm already looking forward to when I can hit up show #3!


Semi-Wordless Wednesday {Picnic With Friends and Sunny Days Outside}

We've had some really gorgeous weather lately, some days getting almost into the 70s. So we've been taking advantage of that and having some picnics, and long walks.

Daisy is definitely not complaining, and neither am I!


The Great Longing

By Kahlil Gibran

Here I sit between my brother the mountain and my sister the sea.

We three are one in loneliness, and the love that binds us together
is deep and strong and strange.  Nay, it is deeper than my sister’s
depth and stronger than my brother’s strength, and stranger than
the strangeness of my madness.

Aeons upon aeons have passed since the first grey dawn made us
visible to one another; and though we have seen the birth and the
fullness and the death of many worlds, we are still eager and young.

We are young and eager and yet we are mateless and unvisited, and
though we lie in unbroken half embrace, we are uncomforted.  And
what comfort is there for controlled desire and unspent passion?
Whence shall come the flaming god to warm my sister’s bed?  And
what she-torrent shall quench my brother’s fire?  And who is the
woman that shall command my heart?

In the stillness of the night my sister murmurs in her sleep the
fire-god’s unknown name, and my brother calls afar upon the cool
and distant goddess.  But upon whom I call in my sleep I know not.

                                            *        *         *

Here I sit between my brother the mountain and my sister the sea.
We three are one in loneliness, and the love that binds us together
is deep and strong and strange.


Births and On Call Life

I had a client due in mid-March, who was planning to birth at the local Midwifery Center where I attended my first birth. I was excited at the idea of returning, but ahh life! I recently spent a day down in Colorado Springs, and I never even made it to my official on-call day! Mama and baby are well.

“Life doesn't discriminate Between the sinners and the saints It takes and it takes and it takes And we keep living anyway We rise and we fall and we break And we make our mistakes And if there's a reason I'm still alive When so many have died Then I'm willin' to wait for it..." 💙 Lin-Manuel Miranda . . I always get physically and emotionally exhausted after a birth, it doesn’t matter how long it is, and I’m always exhilarated too! It just takes a lot out of you to invest so wholeheartedly into somebody else. Yesterday, I attended my shortest birth to date in terms of number of hours that I was in attendance, it wasn’t physically demanding, it was a really wonderful experience all around for what it was, a very big departure for mom‘s birth plan. . . I talked before about how I’m trying to find balance between the two different sides of my career, and because of that I have a lot of back ups in place to try to cover any part of life that I might have to miss to attend a birth. Yesterday was the first time that I missed one particular aspect of my life, and when I went through my checklist I missed something. Normally it wouldn’t have mattered, it was a redundancy, but yesterday that redundancy was needed and I let somebody down. It left me feeling so torn, absolutely thrilled and exhilarated with the new baby that was brought into this world, and absolutely wrecked at who I had let down. I’m feeling a bit better today. I talked it out with Trav, I know I will make the apologies that are needed, and we will get past this. I’ve just never had quite this experience with so much personal disappointment wrapped up in something that is normally so positive. It was a learning experience for sure, and life moves on. #honest
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I had been on call almost continuously (other then a few days at the beginning of March) since January, mostly as a backup doula for a fellow birth worker. For most of January and February I was backing up for two clients at a time, and at one point I was backing up for three! It was a new experience for me and a little nerve-racking!

Around the holidays it always feels like things slow down a little, and like normal routines get pushed aside. January felt like everything that had been postponed, got suddenly dropped back into the schedule! I did some subbing, went on call for this backup doula work, took tons of yoga, got on top of the continuing education credits I'll need for both yoga and doula re-certifications, had all the events I already wrote about, and took a few workshops. This was on top of normal work/life.

Somehow February shaped up to be just as busy! More on call, more workshops, more classes, more birthdays. It's a little crazy lately! The days feel full, but I can't complain. I adore attending births, and I love being a doula, but the sweet relief of not being on call anymore is amazingly blissful. It takes that "birth high" and multiples it!! I'm off from doula work for the rest of the month, all of April, then am backing up for a birth in May, before being off for the rest of the summer. I'm looking forward to enjoying some travels in my time off, and yes, the occasional drink with friends!

If life were all on-call, or all scheduled, it would definitely be easier. But each doula experience teaches me something new about what I need to do to make this balance work.


Semi-Wordless Wednesday {Assists Workshop}

I talked before about the Assists workshop I took to continue my education as a yoga teacher. I got some really fun photos sent to me from that workshop!

It was such a fun, informative day!

Huge shout out to Susie Wolcott for taking these pictures!


And then we ate out...

We have been going out more then usual lately! It wasn't exactly intentional, but we had a number of things pop up in the past two weeks (when Gwen also happened to be out of school for 4 out of the 10 days...), and I subbed 5 extra classes.

This in addition to Hamilton, which I already briefly recapped. What else have we gone out for? Well...

Last weekend we headed out to see Black Panther, I'd heard amazing things about it and it was a movie I really wanted to support in theaters. It did NOT disappoint!

The movie was gorgeous, the actors phenomenal, and the story fast paced and gripping.

We also took a weekend drive to a town about an hour away just so that we could get poutine! (It came with spare ribs on it... totally worth the drive.)

We went out to eat a few days later for Restaurant Week as well, where Gwen tried to eat my face when I kissed her and I got a lamb shank bigger then my fist.

Finally, this isn't about going out... but it is about food. March 1st was St. David's Day, and I had to celebrate my Welsh heritage with some red dress and some Welsh Rarebit.

Cymru am byth!

Things slow down a bit this week... just in time for me to go on call! What a life!  😊



Last night we had the most amazing experience, heading into the city to see Hamilton! Unless you've been experiencing a complete social media/news ban for the past 3 years, chances are you've heard of this amazing Broadway Musical. The second I heard it was coming to Denver, I knew I had to go! We were so lucky to be able to get tickets, and really good tickets at that!

The show completely lived up to the hype. I've been luck enough to see a few shows on Broadway (including Phantom of the Opera!), and this is my favorite. 

Its funny, sad, sweet... I literally laughed and cried. 

This was my favorite song from the show (though they are all great, I downloaded the soundtrack during intermission!):

I know tickets are hard to come by, but if you get the chance, go see it!