your questions, answered

To answer a few questions I've been getting: 

Is this pregnancy different? 
Oh gosh, in every way!
Physically it has been so much easier then with Gwen's so far. My nausea has been 100% manageable the whole time, no hanging over the toilet every morning. Its also pretty much gone already, while with Gwen it lingered until 19 weeks. I have already felt the baby move, which is earlier then last time for sure, and my belly popped out a bit at a much earlier time too. I feel good though.
Emotionally it is night and day too. With Gwen, from the moment I saw those two lines I was in love with the possible little life inside of me. It was MY baby and I was attached. This time around I don't have any of that. I feel fiercely protective of the little babe growing in my belly, but its more like its my brother's child or Ro's. It is just different. This baby is not mine and doesn't feel like mine. While with Gwen's pregnancy, I daydreamed about holding her for the first time, about our life with her; this time the thing I cannot wait for is seeing the mom (and dad!) hold the baby for the first time. I cannot wait to see their faces.

So you're just going to give the baby away? 
Yes and no. Yes, I'm going to hand that baby right over. But the baby isn't mine, so its not mine to "give away." This baby is theirs, I'm just "babysitting" it for 9 months, helping it to grow for them. Again, emotionally the difference is huge.

Do you think you might want to surrogate again in the future? (just curious since you said LAST pregnancy) 
I don't think that I will be matched again. Its something that I wanted to do, that I'm enjoying immensely, that I'm so glad I get to experience. But its never something that I thought I would do over and over. If this same couple wanted to go for a second (highly unlikely), or one of my family or close friends was in need of a surrogate in the future, then I would absolutely consider stepping in. But the plan is that this is it. 

As a natural mom, how can you justify doing this? They should just adopt, there are so many babies out there that need homes!!
Oh boy, where to start. Thankfully I've only gotten this question once myself, snarkily, from someone who wouldn't even use their real name to ask... but I've seen it mirrored other places, so I thought I would address it briefly. To me there is nothing more natural then the drive to want to become a parent. For me, that drive extended into wanting to help another couple become a parent. While the technology needed for gestational surrogacy is new, surrogacy in different forms has been around for millennia. The medications I took to help me achieve this pregnancy were safe, and temporary. I do try to live my life as naturally as possible, but I do not forsake science, technology, or modern medicine. I feel that there is a healthy balance that can be achieved.
So for the second part of the question there. Adoption is a beautiful thing. It is a gift to both the parent and child, I have considered it in the past, and I have multiple friends who have grown their families that way. But they would be the first to tell you that it is not easy, it is not cheap, and it is not for everyone. It was not for this couple, and their reasons are their own.

Happy to answer any other questions that arise!  :-)


  1. Let me just say that what you are doing is a BEAUTIFUL thing!!
    It amazes me that no matter what a person does... there is always someone who wants to play devil's advocate!!
    I am on the complete opposite end of the spectrum as you, and the family who you are "babysitting" for.
    I am adopting children, from the foster care system. It is NOT for the faint of heart. But at the same time... I dont think trusting someone else (virtually a complete stranger) to grow your child for you would be either!!
    I think there are pros and cons to both situations... but BOTH are equally hard, stressful, and BEAUTIFUL ways to expand a family.
    I admire what you are doing... and I hope smooth sailing for the remainder of your journey!!

    1. Thank you so much AmyBeth! Best of luck while you grow your family!


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~ Meegs