funny kind of place

I find myself in this odd place. Every morning Trav and Gwen leave for work and school. I sleep, setting my alarm for 8 a.m. so I don't get too too far off my schedule (night owl that I naturally am). I am more well rested then I have been in ages. My maternity leave is more then half over, and I am going to start setting that alarm earlier and earlier, getting myself back on schedule, while hopefully keeping this non-sleep deprived feeling that I hadn't experienced for a while before now.

I've kept track of days of the week by necessity, a dentist appt last week, a trip to bring some baby items to a friend due next month, and before that, visits with the family. If it weren't for those things, my days would blend together so blurrily that I would have absolutely no way to tell them apart. I have more appointments in the near future to keep me on track: a hair appointment, another trip to the dentist, a massage appointment, and a (long awaited) tattoo appointment. In between, I read, watch TV, take care of little errands and tasks that have been put aside for way too long.

Its the last week in January, and I already feel February's arrival and the end of my leaving coming. I want to go back to the routine of work, yet I wish I didn't have to ever. The only reason to want to return (other then seeing some lovely friend's faces again), is that this in between place feels so surreal. Its hard to believe that I was pregnant, and now I'm not; except my body is not back to what it was before either. I'm more relaxed then I can remember being, but its impermanence sits just on the edge of my consciousness. This non-routine is something I could get so used to, but I just can't allow myself to.

If I didn't have to go back, I wouldn't. I'd fill months with all of the little house things that there never seems to be time for, I'd read all the books that sit in stacks waiting to be read, I'd do daily yoga at home (something I'm not really capable of at the moment), and I'd cross off all of my to dos. I've made a good start of it, but always there is more to do.

A young coworker of mine called with a work question, and asked if I was bored yet. All I could do was laugh. It would take me years to get bored.


  1. Try to be present in the present my 👼. I know it's easier said than done. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is an illusion. All we have is today.

    1. You are so right. It's just crazy how fast it goes.


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~ Meegs