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6.14.2007

smile

It made me very happy to pull up to my house yesterday and see so much yellow! Our flowers are finally blooming, and they are big and bright and beautiful. Plus, another bonus is the random week of thunderstorms we've been having (I LOVE me some storms)... which has cooled everything down so much. There is a chill in the air and I couldn't be happier.


I do still have thee worst case of the summers though. So impossible for me to concentrate. All I can think about is vacation (Cape Cod!!) in a month... I want to get out of here! I'm so restless. Plus, that's when Harry Potter is coming out too, and I'm beside myself waiting for the last book (and the next movie)!! It's so difficult to focus on boring things like membership updates and information packets. But I have so much to do, so I really need to find a way!

And honestly, I've felt pretty restless for a while now... but I think it's just reached a head at this point. It has a lot to do with that thing that I mentioned before, but didn't really talk about (see ps...). It has to do with wanting more tattoos (which I should have a new one before the year is out), and wishing I could dye my hair the way I had it in college (blue highlights, nice!). It has to do with dressing work appropriate and not wearing "freaky" clothes (which honestly, since I don't really get to wear them, I don't own them anymore... and I am comfortable in what I wear most of the time... I just miss it).

I think a lot of people see this kind of stuff as deviant nature, that it's for rebellious teens and that people always grow out of it... but for me it's not. This is my version of normal... with tattoos, piercings, dyed hair, etc. And for me to not be able to dress how I want all the time or to wear a dog collar or some spikes, or have blue in my hair... well NOT doing that feels deviant to me, feels off. I'm fine for a while... then I start to get this inch, this restlessness. It's like someone who loves to travel, and after a certain amount of time at home, they start to feel the inch again... and they have to hop on a plane somewhere. I need to tattoo something or dye something! Lol, sounds dumb I know... but that's just me.

One can't help what they are. I like my music loud, my body tattooed, and my men with tattoos, piercings, and occationally eyeliner.

Well, I really do have to try to get my work done. So I'll leave it at that.... I don't know what else to say anyway.


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