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8.05.2008

glad

I'm already so glad that I decided to do the 3-day. I haven't even done the walk yet, but this whole process has already given me so much. It got me out and moving again. Physically, I'm in the best shape I've been in since high school. I'm at a great weight, and I feel strong and healthy. More then that, its given me time. Time by myself, time with one of my best friends, time to think and just be in the moment, taking everything in. I've learned more about my extended neighborhood in the past few months of walking then I did in all the years before I started to train. When you are walking, you really take things in. You are moving at a slower pace, so life slows down around you and you notice what might otherwise be unobserved. Its given me a chance to see the beautiful around me when sometimes its just easier to see the negatives. Ro & I have shared things with each other that we probably never would have thought that we could share just a year ago. And I've gotten hours and hours to examine this person that is Megan.

For the most part, I'm happy with what I've seen. Sometimes I wonder about my propensity for looking ahead... dreaming so far into the future... not just being satisfied with what I have. In some ways, when you look at individual moments/activities/events/things, I'm great at living in the now. But when it comes to the big pictures, I have a very hard time looking at my whole situation and finding satisfaction. In some ways that can be good, it pushes me to be better always... to work towards my bigger goals, keeps me from being stagnant. But it can also be bad, keeping me from enjoying life 100% when I'm always looking at what I don't have. I wonder if the things I want are really what I want, I like to think they are... but what would happen if I got them all tomorrow? Would I really be completely content then? Or would I find a whole new crop of things to covet? I like to think that I would be content then, but who knows for sure.

Walking has given me a chance to explore all these things. Not necessarily to answer all the questions I raise, but at least to mull them over and come up with a few possible answers... and a chance to figure out which of those answers I want to come to fruition. Once the 3-day is over I certainly won't be walking as much as I do now... both days of the weekend, at least one of those days in the double digits and 4/5 miles two nights a week... but I will certainly keep walking. Perhaps a few nights a week, maybe with my husband in tow (since I won't have to go so far if I don't want to)... hopefully on the weekends with Ro still, since I love our talks so much, but certainly not as far as we walk right now.

This is not to say that it has all been great. There are days when the last thing in the world I want to do is walk. Like this past Sunday, when I was just so damn tired... or any of those 90* days, when it was just so damn hot. But it has definitely been worth it. I'm greatful for all it has given me. Really, its helped me find more of me.

Ten weeks left in training.



Ps. Yesterday Trav had his first PT appointment and it went well. He's going to be going 2-3 times a week, plus he got "homework" to do the other nights (he has to write the alphabet in the air with his foot). In two-ish weeks he'll move from exercises intending to loosen his ankle up and get his movement back, to weighted exercises intending to build the muscles back up. We're feeling very positive about this.

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