the great sibling question

"So, when are you guys going to try for another?"

It seems like once your baby turns 1, that's the question on everyone's mind. Frankly, I couldn't even fathom creating another baby at that point, since Gwen was still so much my baby. But the fact of the matter is, I don't know that I can fathom it at all.

Before having kids I was always so sure that two would be our perfect number. Now that number 1 is actually here though, I think our family might be complete. I feel no need for a second child, no desire to upset our balance, no longing to go through the baby stages again. I feel content with Gwen, complete as our unit.

But in the back of my mind there is a little voice that whispers of the relationship I have with Ethan. That reminds me how much I love and treasure that special bond I have with my brother. And that little part of me feels badly "denying" Gwen that experience. Would I be forcing her to miss out on a great relationship and a ton of memories? Am I denying her future kids the pleasure of Aunts and Uncles? Would I be making things harder for her when Trav and I get old and she has to deal with us on her own?

To be sure, if we did have another, I'm positive the love would be there. But would we be able to do less of certain things? Less of the traveling we want to do with Gwen? Less one-on-one? And its silly, but I worry what if I don't love the second one as much? Or worse, what if (I can't even imagine this) I love it more?

We aren't deciding anything now. We're young, my brother and I are close as can be at 7 years apart, and there is no need to make a final decision anytime soon. But at some point our "not deciding" will be a decision.

How many kids do you have? If you have one, will you have more? Why or why not? If you have more then one, how did you know having number two (etc) was what was right for you? 


  1. I would say the answer to having another baby or not is a huge decision. I thought two was enough and the more I watch Casey our number 2 grow and GG adore her the more I want 3. I want a full thanksgiving table and crazy holidays. As far as when little number 3 is coming well that is up in the air since we may have to wait for GG to go to school so we can afford daycare for baby number 3.

  2. We are done with just 1. We knew going into this that we wanted 1 and I am so happy with our family the way it is.

    My best friend lives locally and also has 1 kid that is a year older than B. They are just liked siblings!

    It is such a personal decision so spending the time to think it through is a smart thing to do.

  3. Hi Meegs. My son Connor is about 5 months older than Gwen. I think about 4 or 5 months ago I was saying the EXACT same words that you just wrote. I remember feeling exactly that way. There was no way I could love another as much. Ironically enough about 6 weeks later I just knew I wanted another. I wanted to see Connor as a big brother & I wanted to go through the newborn phase again (even though Connor was perhaps the hardest baby EVER!) We're currently in the 1st month trying for #2. Maybe your family is complete at 3. Or, maybe, like me you'll find yourself changing your mind soon. Either way I think you'll be happy with your decision. Either way, you'll have a loving family.

  4. As you know, we have one about Gwen's age and are expecting. I have 2 sisters and my husband has 4 sisters. Growing up I always wanted 6 kids but after realizing that finacially it would be a strech, we've agreed on 3. That being I am sure you know, you have to do what feels right to you. Best of luck in your decision!

  5. As an only child, I would say Gwen should get a sibling. I had a lot of friends growing up and sleepovers, but it's not the same as a sibling. I wish I knew what that bond was like and had someone who just knew me and understood our family. I also worry that my kids won't have cousins unless my future husband has siblings - and as you said, no aunts/uncles. Just my opinion as an only. I'm sure it afforded me some things like riding horses that I wouldn't have had otherwise, but I feel strongly that if I have a kid, I should have 2.

  6. so my brother is 9 years older then me, so like you, thats was what i was used to. after jonathan, i was in NO RUSH for number 2. right up until he was 3, i was not ready to get pregnant again. there were things i wanted to do, places to go. i knew i wanted another child "in the future".

    then it was like my body took over, i don't know if turning 30 had something to do with it, but all of a sudden all i could think about was getting pregnant again, full on baby fever! i just felt in my gut it was time. if and when you are ready, you will know.

    the boys are 4.5 years apart, and i think it's a great spread. jonathan can do things independently of me (use the bathroom, get himself dressed, brush his teeth, even get himself a snack) so i can do what i need to do with christian. plus he's in school 5 days a week, so i get one on one time with christian.

    and trust me, as soon as you have number 2, people will start asking about when are you having number 3!


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~ Meegs