Oprah, call me!! aka. Fatigue, my old friend, I've come to talk with you again

"Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone"
(simon garfunkel)

Lately, my old insomnia is back again, and I find myself in bed at night... tossing and turning, for hours after laying down to sleep, travis long since out, simply unable to turn off my brain and drift off. And in the mornings, I am tired and headachy and find it so much harder to wake myself up then usual... my showers take longer, I end up running late, and by lunch time I'm already dragging. With the state of my emotional self already pretty low right now anyway, this does not help at all.
I'm so glad its Friday; I can't wait to sleep in.
Right now I am just so fatigued, I feel numb and unable to concentrate. We are going to Ro & Pat's tonight for poker... I hope I can keep up with the game. Hell, I hope I can make it through the game!

More reception site disappointment yesterday and today. That doesn't help.

Had a talk with my dad yesterday, which was both good and bad. I know he is having a very hard time right now with all this wedding stuff. Of course it is just hard for him to think about his little girl getting married, but I know it is even harder for him since he can't pay for it. He beats himself up about it, and I was hoping that talking to him about it would help him a little. By the end of the conversation I was feeling better about that aspect, thinking that he might be feeling (if only a tiny bit) some what better about it. But it made me feel pretty crappy to think about what kind of mindset my father is in right now, in general. He is bi-polar (manic depressive), and he is in a very depressed place right now. I wish I could help, but I know I really can't.
I suggested ways that he might be able to help me with wedding stuff that doesn't involve money. He seemed positive toward that.

This morning, I found myself reading

okay, somehow i lost the last two paragraphs of my post, don't know how and don't fucking care. too tired to re-type. fuck it.

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~ Meegs